Those interested in a little late night mischief should certainly check out New Zealand’s #1 Online Dating Site…

GirlieGeek tagged me a while back to do this shameless meme, but I’ve been in the dark ages for a while and I’m just now getting to it.

I’m supposed to give 8 totally random facts about who Diva is.

So, here we go:

1.  Diva is a very young grandmother at the ripe old age of 36.  Tyler is a two year old -mohawk sportin – curtain crawler and is truly the love of my life! 

2.  Diva digs travel.  I found a super swell job back in 2000 and stayed here.  It affords me the luxury of travelling both the U.S. and Europe.  I’ve been everywhere I’ve ever thought I might want to go and then some.

Diva just found out today she’s going on a European hoooo-haaaaa in October with stops in Germany, Budapest, Italy and France.  I friggin love my job!

3. Diva does karaoke.   I’m a junkie.  I go to Vegas, I karaoke.  I go to NYC, I karaoke.  Everywhere I go, the camera goes with.  Why, to add to my karaoke scrapbook that was started in 1998.

4.  Diva worked her way through school as an adult.  I was a complete idiot in my younger years and didn’t figure I needed an ed-u-ma-cation cuz I was a-gettin married and he’d take care of me.  Sha, right.  In 2000, I went back to school and graduated in 2006.  Go me!

5.  Diva is on the road to freedom.  By the time I reach the big 4-0:  both of my kids will have graduated high school, I will have my MBA, I will lose a bunch more weight (fingers crossed here), and I will be footloose and fancy free.

6.  Diva loves a super cool cat named Tony.  I’m about to get hitched in September. Pretty cool, huh?

7.  Diva and her bridal party are going to trash our dresses immediately after the wedding/reception.  We haven’t quite figured out said method, but I’m sure it will include rescue scuba divers and a two story dock on Norris.   Zacque, grab your camera.  Mark, grab the scuba gear.

8.  I am an offical member of the Knoxville Zoo.  My Tyler is a lover of the camels, therefore, we venture to the zoological gardens often.  I figured out that it was going to be cheaper in the long-run to have a grandparent annual pass, so I could take the boy to see the animals anytime we want to go.

Diva chooses to tag the following kiddies:

Fracas (because she tagged me, paybacks are a bitch)

Mushy (because he drinks to everything)

And anyone else who’s bored and would like to do it.

SLOTH.

I went into sloth-remission last year and got into excellent shape.  I lost more than 70 pounds.  I was wearing slutty tight jeans and looking pretty good in them, so I bought new cloths for me and my daughter from the Girls Clothes store online.  I had enough self confidence that I even scared me a time or three.  I was attracting ample attention from the opposite sex.  I wasn’t the fat Pirate anymore.  I blended in well with the other girlies.  I was becoming a certified hottie patoddie. 

Then…  around turkey day… I lost my motivation or ate way to much turkey with dressing and punkin pie or something.  I started eating everything in sight that even looked like it had a carb attached to it.  I quit going to the gym like I was.  My butt went from being touchably firm back to jiggly like a bowl of jello.  Of course, poured into the jeans, nobody could tell.  But I could tell.

I’m still down several sizes from where I started.  Thank God, because I gave all of my fat clothes away and bought new.  They just don’t fit as comfortably as they did.  I find myself having to hold my breath… ALOT! Didn’t take long before I started to get more and more miserable. 

Now here it is summer.  The season I spent the whole of last fall dreaming of, only to wake up and realize… I had failed.  I’m not beach worthy.  I’m not bathing suit worthy. 

I honestly do know what the problem with my motivation is and I am actively working on a resolution to it.  I couldn’t beat ’em, so I joined ’em.

I have quit with the Taco Bell, Papa John’s and Booger King.  I have stopped sneaking into the kitchen and scarfing down a couple cookies here, a few chips there.  And most importantly, I’m not just spending ungodly amounts of money on a gym membership. No longer will it just be an expense sucked out of my bank account.  No. 

I have started doing cardio and group exercize classes again.  I have started eating healthy again.  For my health’s sake.

I had forgotten how good I felt when I was working out and eating right.  It wasn’t just the ability to wear skanky clothes.  It’s more internal than that.  I liked the way I felt.   I had energy. I had attitude. 

So, here I go again.  Wish me luck.  I have a wedding dress to fit into in 2 months and 19 days…

Benjamin Franklin once said, “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy.” If this is true then why is there a last call at the bar, drinking age and limited availability? Why force us partake with regard to responsibility this wonderful gift of our glorious maker? After all, Jesus is the Wonderful Counselor. Counselor is a pseudonym for attorney.  So he could take care of any trouble you could get into.  (Unless it’s not part of the Divine plan.)

I may be the only one who see this train of logic, I still think it is ideal. Oh well, so much for living in a perfect world.

Must have something to do with that whole original sin idea. You’re born and very much guilty until proven innocent. Therefore, you are subject to archaic rituals of cleansing and reckoning. So then, you can think like a child in order to approach an ideal afterlife. However, you went through all the ritual to avoid the tendencies of misdeed in the first place. Something sounds fishy about this. It’s all a little too cyclical if you ask me.

I guess that is what I get for trying it interject logic into a book. Especially since its origins are rooted in religion and supposed to be the words of the Divine. Who in the book translates best as a distant father figure that shakes a finger at you and says, “Damn it, do it my way or the highway.” Then gives you freewill. The problem I think has nothing do with the original idea. The interpretation mistakes lie in the hands of the penholders who recorded it and the translators in later years, not the concepts.

In a surprise move yesterday, July 4th, 2007, 24-year-old Al Gore III proved that he’s more honest than his father, Al Gore, Jr.  Apparently excercising his own form of “independence,” the privileged pothead was pulled over and arrested for driving more than 100mph, and for possession of Marijuana and a number of other drugs… While high…It could have not just lead to him being hurt but also could be the end to the other drivers near him. Click here to read more if you want to know what to do after such reckless drivers cause an accident.
The Al Gore, Jr., camp quickly came to the rescue, offering the explanation that the entire thing is a pubilicity stunt to show people that the hybrid-electric Toyota Prius can be driven at excessive speeds, therefore making it a reliable and viable alternative to traditional gasoline-powered combustion engines, all the while getting 55mpg.

Apparently, Al Gore, Jr., thinks the rest of us are as full of shit as he is.

It’s also worth noting the fact that a 1981 Subaru 1600DL would get 52mpg, and the 1997 Chevrolet Cavalier with the 1.8 OHC would get 49mpg, without all the excess hybridization… Those are actual mileages from real-time, personal experience.
Instead of burning a little gas, Al Gore would have us all drive cars which are put together with numerous refined gases and petrochemical products.  This, of course, shows a need for more petrochemical refineries and plastic manufacturing plants, in addition to the astounding increase in global energy usage to manufacture things “a new way.”
So, ummm, isn’t that certainly worse for emissions than a few more gas-guzzling SUV’s…?  All so that we can add a measly 5-8mpg?
Am I missing something, or does the math not work?  Shouldn’t we be doing better?

Can you say Voodoo Economics, boys and girls?

I knew you could.

Tip: Les Jones at his new blog, Rock Stars Against Live Earth.