Archive for October, 2009

Happy Dress Like a Whore Day!

October 31st, 2009 at 10:32 pm by Mark
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     The history of the purely American phenomenon of Halloween includes Trick or Treating for the kids (where they play welfare punks and sponge off neighnors for free sugar), some rather dastardly pranks, and, of course, women dressing like role-playing prostitutes.  Apparently, we have a special fondness for Nurse outfits, especially when they’re showing lots of cleavage, which is probably the reason I’m still totally in love with that sexy CNA from 2007, but I digress…

     We, at Blogitude.com, wish you all a happy, and, above all, SAFE Halloween.

     That means, don’t call us at 4AM to come pick you up because you’re too drunk to drive.  Call a cab like all the other poor sods.  Especially, do not call us to bail you out of jail tomorrow, because, regardless of the fact that we may look like we’re made of money, you must remember that a significant portion of our income comes from Writing, and nobody wants to pay for this crap.

Torturer, Murderer Lemaricus Davidson Sentenced to Death

October 30th, 2009 at 4:11 pm by Mark
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     While anti-Death Penalty activists littered the streets with see-no-evil, hear-no-evil antics, a Knox County Jury who actually heard the case against Lemaricus Davidson were deliberating.

     It was a short deliberation.

     Davidson was sentenced to Death.

     A joint press release by Saddam Hussein and Jeffrey Dahmer says that there was overwhelming applause for the outcome of the trial, and wish Davidson a safe and expedient journey to his new residence in Hell.

     “Ain’t so bad, cause you can smoke anywhere,” said Tupac Shakur, another Hell resident. “But they ain’t got Menthol.”

     I will attempt to keep this post up-to-date with new developments.