Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Tricky White People

February 17th, 2012 at 5:52 pm by Mark
Tags: , , , ,

Can you really argue with Madea’s logic?

Facebook Needs More Blondes

February 17th, 2012 at 5:01 pm by Mark
Tags: , , , ,

The author of this status update was tragically run over while crawling across the street outside the hospital. When asked what had happened, she replied, “The sign said ‘Don’t Walk’.”

Stock Photos

Cunning Linguist?

February 16th, 2012 at 5:38 pm by Mark
Tags: , , , ,

Flori-Duh

February 15th, 2012 at 5:33 pm by Mark
Tags: , , , , ,

Funny how due to the evolution of the English language we’re left with a rather disturbing mental image when reading this sign.

Of course, there’s also the argument that it was literal, and meant for the those who weren’t intelligent enough to use a voting machine a few years ago… I’m jus’ sayin’…

Stock Photos

How to Know When She’s Stepping Out

February 14th, 2012 at 5:27 pm by Mark
Tags: , , , , , ,

Got the t-shirt. Of course, it being two sizes too large was a dead giveaway.