Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

Everybody Loves Bacon

February 7th, 2012 at 5:59 pm by Mark
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Consumption of undercooked pork may lead to parasitic infections… I’m jus’ sayin’…

Bitten

February 7th, 2012 at 5:49 pm by Mark
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Another (unfortunate?) camera angle…

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If RuPaul was Japanese

February 6th, 2012 at 6:03 pm by Mark
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You just know that if RuPaul was Japanese, s/he’d be wearing these.

Gratuitous Nudity?

February 6th, 2012 at 5:50 pm by Mark
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This image was brought to you by Seymour Butts.

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Guitar Prodigies

February 5th, 2012 at 5:26 pm by Mark
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Everyone’s seen a lot of youngsters play guitar, and are completely impressed when a band full of eight-year-olds pulls off a passable Guns ‘n Roses tune.

But this eight-year-old knocks it out of the park with a montage of Paul Gilbert solos from his 80’s rock band, Racer X.

Note the complexity of the riffs, and the amazing control, from a kid whose fine motor skills aren’t even developed. Keep in mind, this video is over five years old.

Now, if he’s still playing, imagine what he can do given the dexterity of a thirteen-year-old… or what he’ll be like at forty…