After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
February 22nd, 2014 at 5:44 pm by Mark
Tags: coffee, counterfeit, customer service, math, money, police, subway
I once tried to pay for my coffee at Dunkin Donuts with two Kennedy fifty-cent coins. I say tried because they told me, “We don’t accept foreign currency.”
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February 21st, 2014 at 9:12 pm by Mark
Tags: leprechauns, lightning, luck, rainbows, smoking, weather
So what do you call this — a Lucky Strike? It’s certainly not a Camel, is it?
Tip: Kimberly, via Facebook
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February 21st, 2014 at 7:11 pm by Mark
Tags: balls, fish, food, innuendo, new-zealand
In another country, I once saw a restaurant selling, “Smelly Fish Balls” — a nasty, deep-fried treat of fish skins, salt and flour. Seems like they were 99 pence, too…
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February 21st, 2014 at 5:06 pm by Mark
Tags: funny signs, names, work
Sounds like something that could happen after kissing the boss’s ass too much, too often…
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February 21st, 2014 at 3:48 pm by Mark
Tags: dating, forever alone, happiness, higher education, women
They say, those who can’t do teach, so this professor is forever alone. 😉
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