Author Archive for Mark

After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy. Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.

You Like Fu King Chinese?

April 21st, 2013 at 5:48 pm by Mark
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Fu King Chinese Restaurant in Lake City, Florida might be Fu King great, or a Fu King letdown according to the reviews.

Fu King Chinese Restaurant.  "We sell Fu King t-shirts!"

Pi Pie

April 20th, 2013 at 5:36 pm by Mark
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Just like I’ve always said — pie are not squared. They are round.

Pi Pie: 3.1315926535898

Stock Photos

PSA: Condom Safety

April 19th, 2013 at 5:53 pm by Mark
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As we all know — or should know — even spermicidally lubricated condoms are only 99% effective. Don’t be the 1%.

Condoms aren't totally safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.

Stubborn Graffiti

April 18th, 2013 at 9:09 pm by Mark
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Sounds like some women I know, too. 😉

Sign: "This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness." Grafitti: "NO WE WON'T"

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Enough Duckface, Already!

April 17th, 2013 at 5:01 pm by Mark
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For those who make Duckface photos, prepare to be shamed, because what can be seen cannot be unseen.

The Future: An inspecific amount of time beyond now when one remembers this photo while taking a duckface photo in the bathroom with their phone and feels stupid.