Tonight, I got a random Yahoo invite from someone I don’t know.  I don’t answer anything from people I don’t know.  Hell, it’s hard enough to get me to answer them from people I do know.
     But the amusing part about this one was that the invite was from someone named “fungal4u” with a bunch of numbers at the end.

     You got it … I won’t even respond to someone named “fun gal 4 u” … But prior to hitting, “Mark as Spam,” I couldn’t help but respond.

     “I don’t talk to fungus.”

     I mean, what a brilliantly thought out name.  Fungal, as in about, or pertaining to, fungus.  

     That struck me as almost as clever as when Experts Exchange had their original domain, “expertsexchange.com” — for those who want the very best Sex Change.  *rolls eyes*

     I do tend to deal with a lot of people who aren’t native English speakers.  A lot of times, I tend to learn their particular pidgins and respond back in kind so that they understand, because sometimes their English skills just aren’t good enough to “get it.”

     Back in ’95, I had a computer store.  I answered the phone one day to a Taiwanese customer.
     “Herro, Ma’k?  I having probrem.  Have computer, cannot get hard on.”
     *muffled laughter*  “Umm, it won’t turn on?”
     “No, cannot get hard on.”
     *laughter less muffled*  “I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying.  You cannot get a hard on?”
     “Haha, very fun!  No, cannot get hard on.”
     *laughing*  “Umm, that sounds like a personal problem.”  *turns on speaker phone*
     “No, Ma’k, have computer, computer on, no hard on.”
     *laughing hard*  “Are you on the Internet?”
     “No, cannot get hard on!  Come now!”
     *laughing hysterically* “I can send one of the girls over.”
     “You makey joke!  I no get hard on!  Send Robin!  Haha, very fun!”

     Anyway, as it turns out, the computer itself, which he mistakenly called the “hard drive,” would not turn on.  And it was due to bad wiring in the building.  But… Whatever…

     A repeat today, with a similar situation, left me fumbling for words when trying to speak to anyone else.  Typing was, of course, right out.

I taking they making wiper fluid for race cars?
Oh, God.
My English is suffering horrible.
This is what I get for talking to Chinese clients.
My English going Hell to the basket.

     Now I have to do a BIOS update … but can no find froppy dick.

     Lately, numerous people from a particular Kentucky county have seemed to inundate this blog with ridiculous slanders, accusations and threats due to the site being linked from a popular gossip website.
     The reason I say “seemed to inundate” is because this situation is not new.  I’ve had to deal with these sorts of comments on a daily basis for many months.  I just finally got sick of deleting them every day and leaving everything unsaid.  I also get sick of the same sorts of crap on my business telephone.  It has gotten to the point that if I don’t get at least two death threats a day from people in, or connected to, that particular Kentucky county, I begin to consider that the chore of putting up with it may be over.
     Of course, the next day, when it all starts again, my hopes are dashed.

     In the course of these discussions, I referred to the residents of Leslie County, Kentucky as “fungus” and “cockroaches.”  I would like to apologize for my severe lack of control when making these comments, because even though they were said in retaliation, it’s no excuse for me to lose my temper in that manner.

     It was an unfair comparison.  Especially to fungus and cockroaches everywhere.  And to these lower life forms, I apologize.

Answer:

It’s 5AM and it’s cold.  I am sitting at the drive-thru of our local Del Taco – Pseudo Mexican Fast food for the uninitiated.  I’m getting some chicken soft tacos because I have a long day ahead and need the carbs/fat/goo.  It’s a pretty simple order – 2 tacos, a macho fries and a macho Cherry Coke.  Let’s stop right there and reminisce about that Cherry Coke for a second.  Mmmmmmmm.  Ok.

So I get to the office and as McDonalds is to Ketchup, Del Taco is to hot sauce – there isn’t any in the bag.  There are, however, a couple of Taco Bell sauces in the fridge, that I found in one of those great counter depth refrigerator reviews online.  Cool beans.

Uh-Oh.

As soon as I mixed the Del Taco with the sauce from Taco Bell, I knew something was wrong.  The chemical smell was as immediate as a Physical Memory Dump with the error being stored in the data.

It only took a few bites to really appreciate the obnoxiousness of the situation.   Individually, the two items were fine.  Combined, horrible.  While I had always thought that fast foods were engineered, I had no idea to what extent.  It is pretty amazing.  I even hear that McDonalds has their own formula of Coke designed to taste better with their brand of food.  If it is true, I’d have to agree that sometimes their coke (when not diluted) does taste better than some cans, but not bottles.