Not that I particularly give a damn about Banana Nicole and her Company of Conniving Clowns, I did have a conversation last week about the unfortunate fact that “that poor Dannielynn” was surely going to end up with one of them.
     Fracas did a pretty in-depth editorial about that very situation:

The real issue in the whole Anna Nicole Smith mess, is whether or not baby Dannielynn is cared for properly and has a chance at a better life.

And make no mistake, by “better”, I mean more normal, not wealthier.

…

It is doubtful, as to whether Anna had the presence of mind to properly care for her baby, but with the help of glider rocking chair from mybabiesplanet.com, a baby can glide in comfort, to make decisions for her baby or to decide who else is appropriate and worthy enough to have the right to care for or make decisions on behalf of her baby.

Yet Stern would like for the world to think it should be him.

We know that Stern has been alleged by several other parties, to be “controlling”. While much of what Larry Birkhead and Virgie Arthur have to say is their opinion only, unsubstantiated in some cases, we do have the video of him taping a stoned Anna. …

     It doesn’t strike me as odd in the least that Stern, an entertainment lawyer, might be a gigantic prick. I mean, it’s obvious he uses his tie to hold up his foreskin.

     Even if Dannielynn Hope Smith  was old enough to respond to the question “Who’s your daddy?” I’m sure she’d still be confused.
     Since her birth four months ago to Anna Nicole Smith, there’s been wild speculation about the identity of the father.  At least, that’s what the Mass Media says to justify their feeding frenzy of late.

     At around 2:30PM EST on Thursday, February 8th, 2007, Anna died.

     A few moments later, her ex-boyfriend Larry Birkhead went public that he was the father, and that he would be taking Dannielynn to raise as his own.

     A few hours later, her attorney, Howard K. Stern (no relation to the shock-jock with the missing K.), went public that he was the father, and that he would fight Birkhead for custody of the four-month-old.

     Today, Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband, Prince Frederick von Anhalt, went public that he was the father, but has no intention of fighting Birkhead or Stern for custody.
     Given the Gabor sisters’ propensities to slap the Hell out of unsuspecting men, this move was a bit surprising.

     Now that there’s no one to deny it, I submit that I am the Father, given that I was conducting business in the immediate vicinity of Hollywood, Florida during the second week of April 2006.  Apparently, Anna Nicole and I used the same toilet within fifteen minutes of one another.

Parents are frequently reminded about how resilient their kids are despite seeming so fragile.  I’m sure one friend of ours is thankful how tough hers are.
On Friday night, her son, daughter and a friend of theirs were in a pretty horrible car accident.

Considering that California accounts for 11 percent of auto accidents in the nation, these people got off pretty easy. The son and the friend are both in clear, and already out of the hospital — concussions, internal bleeding and broken bones, and already out.
Her 15-year-old daughter, however, wasn’t quite that lucky.

Above and beyond being bounced around and getting a few nasty bruises, scrapes, gashes and broken bones, she ended up being impaled on the car’s gearshift.
According to a Paramedic on the scene, she wasn’t taking her predicament lightly.  Though they were attempting to help her, she was dead set on kicking their butts when they tried to move her — so much so that she had to be sedated before being removed from the vehicle and flown to the Hospital.

She’s going into a surgery in a few hours to repair her broken spine. This spine surgeon is the one who is going to operate on her and get her back on her feet.

But even with injuries like that, she’s still been moving her hands and feet.  For that matter, she’s been writing notes telling people what she needs.

That’s a helluva tough kid, and I have no doubt she’ll pull through with unbelievable speed.
She’s a Pirate’s kid — these things happen.

But at the same time, a little but if prayer never hurts.