In this day and age, it’s pretty much a given that kids don’t understand much but sarcasm. I blame Facebook.

That said, this is pretty clear “WIN” for Dad. 😉

Though considered troublesome by many, teenage sarcasm may be directly proportionate to the number of “TMI” (Too Much Information) episodes by a given parent…

Baby’s got BLOOD — not Back. And no, IT’S NOT FUNNY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fVDGu82FeQ

And they have incredible recall skills… Unlike Mommy, who will assuredly have no idea where the little darling learned that after she says it during Church, at Grandmas for a family dinner and to that bloody annoying pre-K teacher who’s a bit too stingy with the fingerpaints… I highly suggest parents to check the Jumpers Jungle Family Fun Center, for toddler bday ideas, kids will love a surprise like this for sure.

It dawned on me over the weekend, and it saddens me greatly. Big T and I started talking about creating a clone shortly after we married (2 months ago).

This is great news and I couldn’t be any more tickled for real. Growing a mini-T in the oven. It’s beautiful.

So, what’s so sad about about it, you might be asking. Well, I’ll tell ya.

I decided with my advancing age (an astounding 37 years), that maybe I should go see Dr. Brad and get official clearance that my oven is still capable of baking without undercooking or burning the buns.

Now don’t you fret, kids. The news is nothing Earth shattering. Just a FAT reality check.

1st. I’m getting old. Dammit. If a body is in the 35+ age group and goes to the OB/GYN and tell them that you’re gonna have hot monkey sex and procreate… LORD HAVE MERCY. Red flags start flying up, sirens start sounding throughout the office, and a big fat sticker goes on your chart. Dayum.

In fact, simply because I’m post-35 (apparently well into middle age), I will have to go through the joys of doctor visits nearly double what I did with my last clone (16 years ago).

2nd. Dr. Brad looks at me all serious during the consultation after the exam (ewwww!)… and says, “We strongly suggest you drop 45-50 pounds before actively pursuing pregnancy.”

I sat there for a minute. Depressed already that I am old and I saw the sticker stating such on my chart….
before asking Dr. Brad, “So, why didn’t you just tell me I’m old and fat? Wouldn’t that be exactly what you’re saying? Besides, you aren’t telling me anything these crows feet around my eyes and the scale haven’t already disclosed.”

“Well, no. It’s just that with your age..” He started.

“Fine, I’ll go to the gym. But I think you should just start being honest with your patients. Old and fat, buddy.”

He smiled that doctor smile when he realized I wasn’t, in fact, pissed off and about to go hormonal on him and his entire staff.