I could make a regular series of “Weird Shit I’ve Heard Tonight.” But only because this night isn’t any different than any other night … well, except those nights I stay home playing the Xbox 360… Which I do a lot of. By choice.
Tonight … ?
“Computers are smarter than me, so if I use them, I can learn something,” she said.
“A computer is a tool,” I said as I pulled a screwdriver from my coat pocket. “It’s only as smart as the shit people put in it. Can you learn anything from this?”
“But I already know how to screw,” she said, looking at the screwdriver I was taking back from her hand.
*cough*
Believe me, I’ll carry a wrench in my coat pocket from now on…
Ya know that gun store those two geniuses were about to rob so they could get the guns to carry out their plan to “die trying” to kill Obama, but instead knew all along they they were actually going to go out in a blaze of glory while wearing white tuxedos and tophats — because they watched Alice in Wonderland using Pink Floyd: The Wall as a soundtrack one too many times when they were stoned? Or something like that?
Can anyone else follow the logic — and take it seriously — where they’re planning a grandiose death as martyrs, but they’re afraid to rob the gun store containing the provisions they need because omfg there are dogs?!?!
Pure genius.
So you have to wonder about the intelligence of the Obama Camp and the MSM…
After being out in the middle of nowhere, somewhere far south of Eden, I found myself once again in traffic. There I was in the car trying visit a friend and I get land locked on the north end of town. Shortly after wading through the mindless meddling of fools of ill repute, I finally found myself at the intersection, full of beavers, creeks, and pikes.
After spending an over abundance of my time waiting… and waiting… I finally found a break in the traffic. It was the perfect defense as the maroon Ford pickup truck set a beautiful pick right in front of me. I went for it…
Like so many other times the maneuver went off without a hitch. However I was jarred back to the utter reality of the asshats around me when I recieved a rather impolite HONK from another pickup which was a considerable distance away. It was only then I rememebred, “The horn blows, does the driver?” Shortly after that the Boy Scout inside said, “Aren’t horns only to be used in case of emergency?”
So in response, I would like to propose an idiot tax based on infringement of proper horn use. If you blow your horn (excluding those proper for exposure in the bedroom, especially mine) for any other reason than the aforementioned you should be subject to a fine of $250. This fine would assist in driver education programs designed for those who will be driving in your stead when you injure yourself from your own stupidity. By no means should you quit driving the way you do once this fine is enacted since theoretically this could eventually create a great excess and could become an education subsidy.
So here’s to you… keep up the driving diarrhea. One day we’ll clean up this crap, but right now we don’t have the man or woman power. But in our independence filled society I’m sure we can come to a rational conclusion on this issue and that’s my final answer.
On the way back, from out the woods, all of a sudden the traffic came to a stand still. For a second I thought I had given way to shock and was in need medical attention because this is Maryville, Tennessee. This is a town that is maybe three times the size of Stockbridge, Massachusetts, it seemed a bit excessive to require four police cars and one tow truck at the “scene of the crime.”
After all it was just a routine case of dented rear (end) syndrome. One idiot/person liked the other person’s butt a little too much and would have no long distance relationship. For this driver, he wanted that butt just like a babyboomer to coke: “ITS MINE!!! I WANT IT NOW!!!!!!!” A moment of pure obsessive madness.
The larger problem is the inability of said law enforcement to correctly assist in navigating around such a traffic fiasco. No, instead said officer motioned as if I was to stop my motor vehicle. What he then failed to do was request that I drive around said incident while he walked past me.
This was not a case of American blind justice, just sheer irreverence for having a decent work ethic. After all aren’t public servants supposed to perform their tasks to the best of their ability no matter how irksome? Or, in the midst of other current events, have the law enforcement officials in Maryville be taking notes from the Knox County Commision? Only time will tell…
So, Anton and I were chatting earlier, and he sends me a link to this video. He says, “It’s kinda interesting in a horrid sort of way.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_tEhX5__sM
Although it’s touted as the “Korean Free Version,” I couldn’t help but note that there were, in fact, PLENTY of Koreans…
But hey, he’s no William Hung…
In other, unrelated video, Miss Teen South Carolina shows us that Peroxide and Television do not mix:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQdhMSEqhfg
I’m sure that all viewers let out a simultaneous and resounding, “WHAT?”
Funny that I should stumble across this one immediately after:
Neo-Nazi Skinheads 
