The names in this blog will be changed to protect the guilty, as my imagination can only run wild as I wonder to myself… WTF are those two talking about?

As heard in Catscratch Jane’s last night…

***Dude, now my breath smells like your girlfriend!***

Um. Where would I go from here? I sat there in the midst of the live “entertainment” which is ever present on Wednesday, my mind spinning, thinking to myself … EWWWW!

Do I even want to know what exactly that meant? Me thinks not.

Yup, yup. Hmm.  Is this one lame, or just plain scary?

Seriously, kids, I don’t make this crap up. But I absolutely love that people say such stupid things. I find it amazing that people really come off with such utterly ignorant blurbs. In addition to giving me something to blog about, it usually amuses me greatly. And boy, did this one amuse me…

Part Deux

***Tan fat is so much prettier than white fat***

I literally did a double take at the skank standing next to me as I was checking into the tanning bed this Saturday past. It took everything in me not to fall over in the floor and gut laugh. What?!?! Tan fat?

Hello, sweetheart. I’m here tanning, too. And I’ll be honest. I see nothing pretty about tan fat as opposed to white fat. Seriously, if you are fat, then you have fat rolls, say like a Shar Pei puppy, right?

Let me help you get a visual on this one, sister. Do you really think that having tan parts intermingled with the white fat rolls is pretty?

God bless the stand-up tanning bed, you can put your arms up in the air and alleviate those pesky white spots.

Yup, yup. Chalk another one up to one of the lamest things I’ve ever heard.

Okay. By now, we all know I am a big mouth girl, with an even bigger personality and a colossus opinion about most everything. So, it seems that lately, I’ve had plenty of time to sit back, watch and listen. And some of the things I have heard recently make me want to say, “Um. What?!?!?! Get a grip, you ditz!” This is merely one of them.

***You don’t like me because I’m fat, huh?***

During a discussion about male/female carrying ons, a male friend of mine, Spike*, told me that some girl had said this one to him because he wasn’t paying her the attention she felt like she deserved or wanted.

Oh, please, honey!

Will somebody please explain to me how women figure that if a man is not paying attention to them, or not “liking” them, or not fawning over them, then it’s surely because of that big ass attached to their backside???

First off, I wonder if she ever stopped to think, if a brother isn’t giving her skins, that maybe it’s not her fat butt… maybe it’s the beautiful personality that she displays constantly… You know, the personality that rivals Peyton Manning’s dripping wet sweat sock midway through the 4th quarter of the Superbowl?

B- What man is going to want you when you are oozing ickee-ness all over the bar, grocery store, or library by hitting on and trying to make out with anything and everything with a penis? Seriously, if I was a dude, and I saw a girl (any girl) hitting on one guy, getting the boot, then hitting on the next guy, getting the boot, then hitting on the next guy, getting the boot… I’m not so sure I’d be into her either. That’s just icky.

Thirdly and lastly (as if I don’t wrap it up here, I may keep going on and on)- Diva isn’t exactly a petite, Barbie doll sized girl of perfection.  Now Diva knows that, although men do dig up on the arm candy, they also love women who will laugh with them, talk to them and have a great time doing whatever it is they are doing. Diva does not, nor has she ever, suffered from lack of attention from the opposite sex. Because regardless of the size of her blue jeans, Diva has no lack of esteem.

Why?

It’s a little thing called self-confidence, sister. You might try looking that one up and studying on it for a minute.

Yup, yup. You don’t dig me because I’m fat…..That’s one of the lamest things I think I’ve ever heard.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent AND the guilty.

With the whole Anna Nicole debacle of late, I find myself wondering why some people do the things that they do which in turn result in an untimely death of said person.

And with all of my deep thoughts of whys and hows, and with trying to come up with some super interesting reason, I’ve decided it’s simply a case of natural selection. Let’s take un momento to analyze how I have come to this conclusion.

Example 1 – The jack ass from Iraq who mailed a letter bomb, which was returned to him for insufficient postage.

 The bomb blew, he’s dead. Why? Natural selection. Somebody stupid enough to be mailing letter bombs in the first place should get blown up by some means. The fact that it was by his own bomb makes it epic.

Example 2- The rocket scientist who decided to ride a jet-ski off of Niagara Falls, hit the home-made rocket to shoot him over the past the falls, and get picked up upon landing.

 Duh. What kind of dork puts a plan like that into motion? I seriously wonder what the last thing he thought was…. “Oh shit, Batman, this ain’t gonna work!?!?!”

Hello, natural selection. Somebody stupid enough to go over Niagara Falls in the first place hasn’t go enough common sense to walk and chew at the same time… Natural selection.

Luckily, this guy didn’t have time to procreate any off-spring as he was too busy making dud rockets.

Example 3 – Although the number of car crashes with trains has decreased since 1976, approximately 500 people per year still try and outrun them.

In the not so distant past, most of the railroad crossings here in the United States didn’t have any kind of warning system in place to warn motorists that a train was coming. As if looking to your left and seeing that 118 tons (give or take) of steel, bolts, nuts, and steam barreling down the tracks isn’t enough to tell you a train is coming…

So, local governments nationwide began putting up railroad crossing signals. You know, you’ve seen them… the flashing red lights on either side of the road, the huge bar that drops down blocking an idiot motorist from getting to close to the tracks, the loud bells that scream “dang, dang, dang”… right. So, these precautions are in place for what reason?

Anybody?

They are in place for people who are too blind, or too careless to see that 118 tons of death on a track is coming right at them at possibly 50 MPH.

However, the epitome of stupidity is the motorist who is just so sure he/she can make it around that huge arm barrier to the other side of the track before that 118 tons of death on a track gets to them. Ooops, doesn’t work out quite so well every time. One occurrence in Silicone Valley, CA, shows us that regardless of all the bells and whistles in place, some people are just too ignorant to realize they can be smited from this Earth. Natural selection? I think so.
I suppose I would hate to do something really stupid that resulted in death. Seriously. If you don’t want to die of a deadly cocktail of drugs, hello… don’t do the cocktail of drugs.

If you don’t want to die by hitting the water/rocks at 100 MPH, don’t jump, rocket, jetski, boat, or swim over Niagara or any other falls.

If you don’t want to go down in your family history as the moron who tried to beat up the train, don’t try to out run the train…

Pretty simple, kids.

There are a few people who tell me I waste money.  Like, every now and again, I’ll throw down $8 on an apparently useless domain name.  Funny thing is, I’ve gotten some pretty decent traffic out of most of them.  This blog has done very little in the way of pushing Advertising, but still, it has consistenly made eight-to-ten dollars every month.
Paid for a domain, got a few more readers.

I watch a lot of people play with nye nettcasino (more at https://groovegaming.com/), betting $5 into the lotto twice a week.  Most of them have never, and will probably never, win much of anything.  Case in point, a friend of mine won $3 after ten years of $10 a week.  That’s a lot of money to waste, look at this article for a very well written argument.

To me, throwing $5.25 down on an Ebay listing that’ll probably go nowhere is fun.  It’s certainly more productive than a lotto ticket, and it might actually sell… One time I got curious about powerball numbers and tried our luck.

Some people just don’t get it.  One of the best thing to know is that every dollar counts.  The more spend-$8-and-make-$9 things you can do, the more chance you have at coming out $1 ahead each time. For some people, they spend money on online gambling games like indiaportfolio.co.uk. If this also interests you, go to spacing.ca to learn about samantha gambling site. Sometimes, I’ll do one or two from time to time between job silliness.  Other times, I’ll sit and do it all day.  Though boredom often starts the process, the process is certain anything but boring.
Those days are fun, because I’m bouncing around doing three or four hundred different things.  So how much do I actually make on what most people consider a “waste of time?”

It’s fun stuff to think about.  😉