By the looks of Kroger’s, you’d think the Apocalypse was under way!

     In the wake of all this Lane Kiffin controversy, where the former UT Vols coach is skipping out to head USC, I’ve had very little to say but one thing…
     “Lane Kiffin?  Oh, sorry!  I didn’t even realize UT had a coach.”

     Only three people laughed. The rest tried to explain, “Oh, yeah, you don’t care about football, huh?  Well, Lane Kiffin was…”
     Yes, the rock I’ve been living under was impenetrable.  These explanations only stand as more proof that people just don’t get sacrilege.  Err, I mean, sarcasm.

     It seems that UT Vols Basketball Coach Bruce Pearl may be hardest hit by the news that Lane Kiffin is leaving, given his statement last year regarding how well he got along with the Football Coach:

I’m trying to date his wife. But that’s not working out too good.

     Two thousand, one hundred eighty-eight miles does tend to add an additional layer of complexity to his covetous courting.

     Perhaps unsurprisingly, as if she’s been being whisked off to another country never to be seen or heard from again, literally thousands of Tennesseeans are searching Google and other search engines for photos of Layla Kiffin nude.  As if there are any naked pics of Layla Kiffin lying thoughtlessly around the Internet…
     Numerous bloggers have lamented Kiffin’s decision to leave based on their lust for Layla’s sweater kittens, however few have managed to convey their emotions so succinctly as Sports Pickle.  

     Personally, I find it interesting they should reference both breasts and Governor Bredesen in the same paragraph… again… But I digress…

     Perhaps it’s just me, but rather than “HOT,” I prefer to think of her as ‘decorative,’ as in, “may look nice loosely draped over a couch, where the color of her hair might possibly match the otherwise sparse decor.”  Not that I particularly give a damn about interior design, or even own a couch, but the whole Barbie Doll^™ thing has never done much for me.  I generally prefer womens’ brains to be equally as large as their breasts.
     I mean … perhaps it’s a bit prejudicial, but she doesn’t exactly scream, “Rocket Surgeon,” to me.

     But as for looking at photos of hot women with large breasts, I have my own stash to look at, taken with my own damn camera from 2007 and 2008… God… I miss those… err, I mean, her, back then she used to have the best breast augmentation and other surgeries to have a fit body and feel good with herself. 

Note: Barbie is a Registered Trademark of Mattel Toys, God forbid they try and sue me, too.

Note: The term “Rocket Surgeon” is based loosely on the statement, “It’s not rocket surgery!” delivered several years ago by the bartender formerly known as Antoinette, now made famous by the captioned photograph hanging in Knoxville’s Preservation Pub.

Normally I try to not watch the news, but my NetFlix movies are on thier way.  Television over the last two days hasn’t been much fun either, so I turned on WBIR.  You can sum up the two hours of newscast to three phrases:  It’s cold drive carefully, The UT basketball made a piss poor decision and there’s an Italian restaurant in the vicinity of Seymour called Willie’s.  If this is the all real news out there why even have a local newscast?  Even the commercials sucked, there has to be more out there…

The title says it all, first I questioned the sexuality of my house key as it looked a bit prideful.  Then we were illuminated with the different shades of gay and a pretty lame diety as Steve Jobs is generally a poo-poo faced kind of guy.  Its his computers that we found were slightly in the closet, although that has to do with their operating system.

Yesterday, September 1st 2009, Ben and Jerry’s the Vermont ice cream company we have come to love released a temporary flavor,  Hubby Hubby.  As you might have guessed it is a localized renaming of their product Chubby Hubby which includes: fudge covered peanut butter filled pretzels in vanilla malt ice cream rippled with fudge and peanut butter, according to the Washington Post.  However Ben and Jerry’s describes it as: an all naturally fabulous union of Peanut Butter Cookie Dough ice cream, fudge and pretzels. 

The thing that pisses me off is the fact that it is only available in Vermont.  Would it not be a better idea to celebrate living in a country where its okay to be out with a national release?  I am advocating for changes in marriage laws but I would urge the country to limit the state’s involvement of the process.  After all other that tax revenue and legal fees what business does the state really have in my personal life.  After all it took three times to be married to the love of my life.

So, go support the reformation of marriage laws, just on a different platform, getting the state out of the private lives of it’s citizenship.

Off a bridge, that is.

Not to sound unsympathetic to the horrible disaster which unfolded Wednesday on I-35W in Minneapolis, but it’s our government who allowed it to happen.  Maybe once enough people plumet to their death in horrific accidents, somebody who is somebody might decide to put more money where it needs to be:  HERE IN THE U.S., not every-damn-where else.

Nationwide, there are more than 70,000 that could crumble like humpty dumpty and have a great fall.  A story posted on AOL today states that Tennessee’s bridges DO NOT make it into a list of bridges likely to go down anytime soon.  So, maybe its true.  Maybe it’s not. 

I decided that this whole situation scares the crap out of me.  So, I started looking into the bridges in Tennessee that are, according to our officials at DOT, structurally deficient.

These guys tell us that of all the bridges, both “on system” and “off system” that are in structurally deficient number more than 1,000.  More than 1,000!!!  Of course, the bridges are not listed here, but I’m sure it wouldn’t be too terribly hard to find out if any of these 1,000 are bridges we take for granted every single day.

I found this quote from a TDOT official from NewsChannel5 in Nashville…

TDOT said about four percent of the state’s 8,000 highway and state road bridges are what they call “structurally deficient,” which means they have some structural problems. TDOT said those problems do not compromise the safety of those bridges.

They can call it what they want.  I still think federal funds should be piped into each state for bridge and road upkeep, rather than all over the world.

Think about it…Henley Street?  Gay Street?  The big one on Pellissippi Pkwy?  I-40?  Edgemore to/from Oak Ridge?  Not to mention any number of smaller bridges. 

Good luck out there people.  Watch out for them hateful northern drivers from states that start with “I” and have falling bridges.