Onion Investigative Stalk… umm… Reporter Gavin Fisher attempts to understand whether he should give his waitress a large tip or the entire shaft.

Via.

Ya know, my particular “dislike” of monotonous mediatard Wolf Blitzer is rather well known in some circles, so stuff like this just makes my day.

Unfortunately, they also wouldn’t support my right to Keep and Arm Bears. But I do like the bit about blaming Canada…

Yes, I admit, the thought of the rotating whir as the microwave heats up a ready-made frozen tray of less-than-nutritious, cardboard-flavoured food would make me want to kill myself, too. Fortunately, I know how to cook.

     This just in from The Onion News Network…

     I started reading The Onion about nine years ago while working in New Zealand.  There’s always been some pretty brilliant Tech spoof.  But one ardent reader noticed this gem, which carries a pretty serious language alert despite being about the funniest bit of satire I’ve ever seen The Onion put out:

     And an honorable mention….

     Do you have the sneaking suspicion that maybe The Onion spoofed something Apple was actually working on there?  I mean, it seems just ridiculous enough to be… real.  Of course, Apple Engineers never would have noticed the hole — err, whole — NSFW Goatse angle…