In our lovely world of the internets, full of mountains and mountains of pornography, it is nice to see that some still have a sense of humor.  Today, when children are having children or people have them out of wedlock (thanks Mark), and I have to work to support them,  I am glad to see that the condom has not gone out of style and is versatile and can be used for many things as shown in the following video.

(tip: thanks to B.J. Hitchcock for the clip.)

And just in case you weren’t convinced to use a condom or some other method of birth control before…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWkZ_StRjU0

Now with your help, we can be one step closer to a balanced budget!

Nirodh will be very important on New Years Eve.

No, not Nimrod — Nirodh.

WTF is Nirodh, you’re asking?

This educational video from Hyderabad, India expains it all…

(Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44IFYB1icx0)

In retrospect, “Nimrod” might apply, too.  And no, I wasn’t being punny — jeez, get your mind outta the gutter, will ya?

But … I think the pink one is gay, especially at 04:18…

Tip: Zacque, actually… but he didn’t wanna post it.  Ahh, but then he did.  Then… Who knows.

Not only do I need a support group for my klepto issues, but I am also an addict. That’s right, kids. If I don’t have an I.V. drip of strong ass coffee every morning, then I’m about as useful as a pantyliner is to Bruce Willis.

I consume no less than a pot of the stuff before I even leave my house in the morning. That’s just the regular, rut-o-the-mill crap too, I don’t own anything close to the best automatic espresso machine. The the games really begin when I get to the office. Oh yes, I have it made there. My boss is sympathetic and spoils me with Seattle’s Best beans. For Christmas 2 years ago, we acquired a mac-daddy espresso maker that grinds the Columbian beans into powder and then spews boiling hot water through it with extreme pressure so as to extract every last bit of the caffeinated goodness inside. God bless espresso and the occasional vanilla latte.

If I don’t get my daily dose of good stuff, I become as foul as an 87-year-old school lunch lady who’s sloppin cole slaw food stuff onto the tray of a smart ass high school kid. It’s cool. I don’t do without much.

However, I have went on strike from Starbucks. Pisses me off that I have to pay around $4 for a latte that I can whip up here for nearly nothin.
Nevermind the fact that I feel like the total redneck as I am ordering my “Non-fat venti vanilla latte, please” with my thick ass southern drawl. I always feel like they give me my total, ask me to drive around to the window, all the while making fun of the redneck chick with the funny accent.

Plus, I’m highly influenced by what I hear. And I a little squirrely told me that StarSchmucks is evil. He doth spout the truth!

(If you’re offended by extremely foul language, I advise you not to click that down there. And I apologize in advance for being so easily amused by such profanity. Please know, my mother raised me better than this. I am a black sheep.)

     I’ve known some amazingly nutty women, but this news story made me realize I’m not alone.

Police say that on June 14, the woman put Visine in the 32-year-old male friend’s drink without his consent, causing him to suffer vomiting, rectal bleeding and difficulty breathing…

On July 6, police said, the woman, using a metal cane, encouraged a large pit bull to attack the man’s Chihuahua, killing it.

…

Police … charged her with second-degree assault and third-degree criminal mischief.

     I can’t help but wonder what the relationship was between this woman and the object of her fury, as I’ve had the same sort of thing happen by a couple of women I was never even with.

     Sometimes, however, I’ve had some pretty frightening post-relationship encounters with ex-girlfriends, too.  Those sorts of blow-ups usually result in my racking my brain trying to figure out what I did to deserve it.
     Fortunately, this video clarified the issue, and now I know exactly where I went wrong:

How in the hell do folks roll in a vehicle when the music is so damn loud I can hear it from inside my office when they are a mile or more away??

https://youtube.com/watch?v=R5_8qdzaPV4

Why am I concerning myself with such petty bullshit on a Friday afternoon, you ask?

Well, friends and neighbors, I’ll tell ya why. I just got set off like I have a fire cracker up my ass and it’s the 4th of July.

We have had our office location for nearly 7 years.  We are located between Fade to Black Barber Shop and Vogue Hair Salon. Our only source of entertainment here is to watch the old ladies wander in and out of their weekly hair appointments and listen to the drama/comedy coming from the barber shop next door.

I shit you not, it’s like a scene from “Coming to America” sometimes.  I love to sit here and listen to the shit flyin… but that’s not what’s on my mind today.  No.

What really gives me pain like a full on titty twister is when the good ‘ol boys next door come driving up with that shit blarin’ so loud that it rattles the windows in my office.

I’ve even had customers (mind you I work with Doctors and Researchers and other esteemed individuals worldwide) ask me why I don’t turn my music down before I bother the answer the phone.

I’ve busted out the front door of our office and sneered dirty looks that way.  How fucking hard is it to have a little common sense and public decency to turn that shit down to the point where your whole car isn’t shaking along with the ground under it.

I’ve come to the conclusion that these kids have something to prove to one another.  In addition, the music gets cranked way loud right in front of said barber shop, because I reckon they feel it impressive to the rest of humanity.

Personally, I think the louder and more abnoxious the music is, the smaller the dick of said music master is.