Author Archive for Jason

Adventures at Taco Bell

March 8th, 2014 at 7:00 pm by Jason
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Sitting in Taco Bell with a friend and I hear fluent Spanish. I look around and, lo and behold, there’s a Mexican gentleman sitting across the restaurant. “It’s a good Chinese restaurant because lots of Chinese eat there,” seems silly now…

Taco Bell Mild Sauce: "Will you marry me?"  When my girlfriend of 6 years asked for some hot sauce, without thinking I handed her this... ...after a few seconds she screamed "YES!" and started crying uncontrollably... ...What the Hell Taco Bell?

Cellphones: The New Law & Religion

March 8th, 2014 at 5:47 pm by Jason
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This is almost the law of the land now. We can’t even drive a car without looking at our text messages and trying to reply even at the danger of having a wreck and killing ourselves or someone else.

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Notice is hereby given that ALL CITIZENS MUST Everywhere Everyday Constantly Fiddle with their cell phones. AT NO TIME is it permissible to sit idle and observe the poetry of life or look into the eyes of another person. The arrival of a snippet of trivial text holds the promise of unimagined pleasure, of course we still need to communicate with all the people that is far from us, that’s why a service that let us send free SMS to anyone in India on this Christmas is useful for many people in this country. Honor thy ringtone and jiggling hand-held devices above all other gods. REMEMBER ALWAYS: Practice constant devotion to the PRECIOUS OBJECT. Give full attention to the GLORIOUS TECHNOLOGY. Maintain unselfish love for the FLIMSY HARDWARE.

Guns Make You Uncomfortable…?

March 6th, 2014 at 7:15 pm by Jason
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Just in case it didn’t sink in the first time: Ladies… If your man doesn’t know how to fire a weapon, you’ve got a girlfriend.

I told her guns make me feel uncomfortable. She said we should both see other men.

Mind in the Gutter? Check.

March 6th, 2014 at 3:08 pm by Jason
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I’m not the only one with my mind in the gutter. LOL

I've got a pet wussy. You that read wrong. You read that wrong, too.

Stock Photos

French on the Moon?

March 5th, 2014 at 3:17 pm by Jason
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Ahh, they surrendered. Dammit…

All American flags placed on the moon are now white due to radiation from the sun. Great. Now it looks like the French went there...