Posts Tagged with "satire"

New BIC Pens No Good for a Man

January 30th, 2013 at 5:40 pm by Mark
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Now available with the US — with some amazing satire, to boot. I won’t be purchasing them, of course, because I don’t want to be a unicorn (see link).

Unemployment Expected to Rise

November 13th, 2012 at 7:48 pm by Mark
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As expected, nearly 1.5 million jobs were terminated today after the midnight release of Call of Duty: Black Ops II. Due to a complete lack of production, the Dow Industrial closed at nearly 60 points down today, despite the sharp upturn in retail spending. Economic Analysts are still skeptical, given the expected 1% rise in unemployment claims due for Wednesday, November 14th.

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Analysts Hopeful About Consumer Spending

November 12th, 2012 at 7:53 pm by Mark
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As the November 13th, 2012 release of Call of Duty: Black Ops II nears, analysts are hopeful about the sudden stimulation in late night consumer retail spending. Not since 2009 has there been such an anticipated video game release, which is assured to cause the Obama camp to issue a statement taking credit for the slight economic upturn.

Many Analysts, however, urge vigilance, as news of an additional rash of unemployment is expected to follow on November 15th, 2012.

Breaking Satire: Casey Anthony’s Sentence Proposed

July 5th, 2011 at 2:56 pm by Mark
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Orlando, FL (Via the Web) – The “Not Guilty” verdict handed down by a Florida jury against Casey Anthony, accused of murdering her two-year-old daughter, Caylee, came as quite a shock to everyone on July 5th, 2011. Judge Belvin Perry has repeatedly reprimanded her defense team over the last week as witnesses continued to use unintroduced evidentiary statements which set the entire process on the verge of mistrial.

Across the country, there was nothing but astonishment as the jury delivered their acquital. Across Social Media sites, there is an overwhelming sense that there is something tremendously wrong in our court systems. “Apparently you can kill your toddler, party for a month, and wait for your mother to report it to the police,” wrote one Twitter user.

Judge Belvin Perry already expects to see Casey Anthony back in court next week for her sentencing phase, as she was found guilty of giving false information to police, which can carry rather severe penalties. “In the interest of fairness,” quoted Perry, “I think it would be in everyone’s best interest to sentence Ms. Anthony to no less than 36 hours of Community Service providing child care to each of the jurors who found her innocent.”

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What if Moses Had Internet?

April 11th, 2011 at 3:00 pm by Mark
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Only one thing is certain: he wouldn’t have Jesus on IM …