After rounding the world four times and getting the piercings, but only having three earrings to show for it because he's too picky about what he'll actually put back in his ear, Mark attempted to settle down back in his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee. This, of course, did not happen because, quite apparently, he has been biologically implanted with a PsychoMagnetâ„¢ which makes even the most stable of people batshit crazy.
Mark is currently "hiding" in wildly public places, and making as much noise as possible, while throngs of anonymous nutjobs accuse him of every salacious deed imaginable, such as the unseasonable rainfall of 2011, the murders of several prominent people who are still very much alive, and the 1915 sinking of the Lusitania. Mark is a carnivorous smoker who is Politically agnostic, unable to reproduce, refuses all manners of Internet dating, and generally believes that Murphy was an optimist.
March 13th, 2012 at 5:20 pm by Mark
Tags: dating, drugs, innuendo, sarcasm, sex, women
Of course, possessing this much brilliant sarcasm may also be a reason he’s still single.

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March 12th, 2012 at 5:25 pm by Mark
Tags: chinese, english, kids, language, sarcasm, school, teenagers, win
I can’t find any fault at all with this one. In fact, it’s so brilliant, I’ll bet the teacher gave this kid an A — for Asshole!

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March 10th, 2012 at 5:24 pm by Mark
Tags: bad parenting, condoms, dating, kids, pregnancy, safe sex
Apparently, Mom wants grandkids with Ashley…

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March 9th, 2012 at 5:36 pm by Mark
Tags: cartoon, english, humor, innuendo, language, penis, sex
English is a very complex language with many subtleties. In addition to being modified by adjectives, nouns can also be modified by other nouns. In certain instances, the incorrect usage of nouns can lead to rather embarrassing, or even dangerous, conversations.

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March 9th, 2012 at 5:25 pm by Mark
Tags: buzz lightyear, innuendo, sex, toy story, toys
The only way this product could have been worse is if you blow into the straw and Buzz Lightyear says, “To infinity, and beyond your lips.”

Note: Toy Story and Buzz Lightyear are ™ & © 1995-2012 Disney/Pixar. All Rights Reserved.
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