For more info on the subject of this asinine tirade:

A buzz of activity yesterday helped Martin Provencher keep his mind not on what might have happened, but on finding his 9-year-old daughter, Cdrika, who disappeared without a trace eight days ago.

…

Cdrika Provencher is 5 feet tall and weighs 70 pounds. She is white and has curly red hair and brown eyes. Anyone with information about her disappearance should call the SQ at 1-800-659-4264

     Sorry, but I think my solution there is a little more helpful than posting some Asshat’s blog URL…

     Now to focus on the Asshat…

     All day long, Steven has been posting this message to our blog, and everyone else’s blog who was listed on the Google Page Rank 50 Dollar Contest:

I have disregarded any posting on any movies today.Please if anyone has any information on this beautiful redhead little girl call your local police dept.

PLEASE READ THE POST

(Asshat’s URL deleted since he was so polite)

     Four of my friends have send me a message today about the “weird spam” and each time, I’ve told them, “Nah, he seems to be doing it to all of his regular reads…”
     But when the same comment came in the second time, and again went into moderation, I responded to him via e-mail:

To: steven
Date: August 8, 2007 2:47PM 

Steven, I know it’s a PSA, but it’s kinda … well … spamming.  We’ve all heard it all over the news.

Take care,
Mark

    I wasn’t being flippant, but he needs to know that his actions might be ticking people off, eh?

     What I got back instead of an apology, or a plea to go ahead and remove the comment from moderation, was an e-mail from an abusive little asshat with absolutely no manners whatsoever:

From: steven
Date: August 8th, 2007 2:47PM EDT

your an asshole

     I mentioned it to a friend, saying, “Okay… He’s wound a little tight today,” but didn’t bother to respond.
     A few minutes later, got another one…

From: steven
Date: August 8th, 2007 2:53PM

She lives in my province, I thought I would get help from the blogging community.It’s not a psa or spam you ass,it’s called trying to help each other out!!!.obviously you don’t have any children or else you would understand!!!!

GET LOST!!!!

     Thanks for that, Steven.

     Seriously, I couldn’t continue my day without being abused by a random Asshat from Quebec.  Apparently, the problem isn’t only that you’re a repeat-offending spammer, but also that you’re totally lacking in the social graces which tend to be bestowed to most of us who deal with other human beings on a regular basis.

     To summarize:

• You can’t spell “you’re”
• I am an asshole, and an ass (think I needed that newsflash, Mr. Brightspark?)
• Your message was not a Public Service Announcement (PSA)
• Sending the exact same message to every blog attached to a $50 contest is apparently helping us out
• Sending your base URL instead of to an individual post is apparently helping us out, as well
• I don’t have any children
• I should get lost
• Your keyboard apparently has faulty space, shift, one, comma and period keys

     You’re right, Steven… I don’t have any kids because I have a genetic predisposition which results in severe birth defects.  Thanks for reminding me, Asshat.  All those years of therapy undone because you happened to Spam every blogger I know…

     You seem to be suffering from a PEBKAC error.

     Maybe, even, a little I-D-Ten-T.

     Now, Asshat, stop screwing with us and go do something useful … like maybe playing Russian Roulette, or seceding from the Canadian Union or something…

     Ok, I’ve been getting a lot of “weird” comment emails lately, many from women asking bizarre questions about dating, relationships, sex and men in general.  I’ve been trying to decide whether or not to answer them, because quite honestly, some of the questions are pretty uncomfortable.

     I got an e-mail from an ex (like the majority of mine, we’re still friends, or try to be, at times) the other day, talking about her issues with a guy she’s been seeing.  I realized that sometimes it’s difficult to separate the person you know from the person she is now, even it’s been quite a while, but I tried.
     I asked a few friends, “Hey, was this too mean?” and let them read my response.  After I’d already fired it off, of course.

     A few of my female friends adamantly declared, “You should blog that!”

     So … here we go…

     From e-mail:

From: Confused
Date: August 8th, 2007 at 8:07AM

It’s definitely wrong to expect any man to make things better.  That’s something I have to come to terms and deal with … hopefully learn from and move on.  Except …..

You meet a man who’s kind, interesting, humorous and exhibits all these great characteristics. He puts no heavy pressure on you.  You *do* appreciate the effort he’s putting into the relationship and let him know that. 

But then after a while, he gets comfortable/complacent and changes.  The wine and dine/ conversation changes to the beer/ belching/ farting/ cursing and eventually belitting.  Why????  Is it something I caused or was there a sign I should have noticed in the beginning??  In any case, at that point a woman can’t be expected to accept that.

I really don’t think I overanalyze.  I wasn’t expecting anything… It started as  spending time with a friend, and developed into a relationship which I didn’t push at all.

I don’t think I’ve ever asked “tell me you love me”.  If I felt the need to do that, either I’d be insecure in the relationship or in a situation like I was with Mr. Slimebag (I already knew the answer).

You know, I just realized that I’m more upset with being blindsighted than I am with him.  And maybe I’m overthinking a bit because I want to understand why guys do that?

What do guys want???

     Ok, typical thing, right?  A woman breaks up with a guy she’s been seeing, then starts the whole self-doubt and confusion bit…
     But is it ever really that simple?

     There are always two sides to a story… And honestly, in most cases, only half of it makes sense to a guy.

     In cases where “relationships” are going well, sometimes there’s a sudden, gigantic detour into “crazy,” leaving a guy going, “What the f$&* just happened?”
     To me, it’s always ironic, in those situations, when women will come back filled with self-doubt, questioning everything from the relationship to themselves, when that was exactly what caused the diversion to begin with.

     And I’m not saying it’s “always” like that, either… It’s definitely a “sometimes” thing.  It’s just an ironic situation that happens to have been on my mind for about six months.
     So I responded, perhaps a little harshly, and with gigantic generalizations…

     I’ll tell you what guys want … We want someone to be with, to be happy with… Easy … do you really think it’s any more?

     You certainly do the dating persona … showing your best, until you become yourself … I guess you think it’s easier to be yourself once you get to know someone, know that they’re there. 
     I’ve just always been me… nothing more, nothing less.

     You always overanalyze things…

     Your version of “Tell me you love me” is passive-aggressive. “I’m starting to have feelings for you,” “I think about you all the time,” “Would you ever get married again?” “I need you,” “You’re like a drug,” “You’re the only person I can trust,” “I’ve never felt this way before…”
     Those are all pushing towards getting him tell you how he feels.
     Then you get the, “I love you,” which is a hard thing for a guy to admit anyway, and your interest subsides. “You’re obsessive.” “You want more than I want.” “I can’t handle being responsible for your happiness.”
     You can’t be happy … You have to keep asking questions, pushing buttons, and trying to screw things up.

     For guys, it’s different.

     We find a woman — she’s beautiful, she’s demure — and she seems to have her head and her heart in the right place. All wrapped up in a nice little package of sweet and sexy, confident and secure.
     We want be strong for her, so the first thing she does is start showing her emotional side and strokes our ego by appealing to our protective nature.  Then she gets distant as she wrestles with the fact that “I can take care of myself,” “I don’t need anyone else” and starts to pull away.
     Things start to break down.  The more she wrestles with herself, the further away she goes, and the more frustrated we get.  We can only get to know her as much as she’ll show us… And she’s the same woman, but now she’s upset all the time… 
     We keep trying and trying to be strong… but the more she gets upset about every little thing that comes along, the more she pulls away, the harder we try to be there, to make her happy… to help… to fix it…
     And she resents it, begins spouting the typical, “You always want to fix everything!” “Some problems you just can’t fix!” garbage, because she’s terrified to think that someone might be able to look through all her crap and baggage and actually give a damn about her.

     And it’s frustrating as f$&*.

     Somewhere along the line, we get desperate, and start attempting last ditch efforts and ultimatums.  The more she’s around, the more she begins to see our usual nature, along with a new “manic” that we’ve gained from trying to deal with her moods…
     Pretty soon, nothing works.  Every single damn thing we do is an excuse for why, “This isn’t going to work,” regardless of the fact that we never would’ve been like that had she not been so f$&*king fatalistic…

     Okay … sorry … never mind.

     I don’t know what guys want…  *smirk*

     So I asked a few other female friends for input…

     “Oh my God!  That was raw, but not harsh!  Damn, you really understand women!”
     “How can you know all of that?  There’s so much of me in there… That reflects a great understanding of women far beyond anything I’ve ever seen from a man!”
     “Exactly!  Why don’t other guys understand that?”
     “You are brilliant as ever!  You pegged us!”
     “No, you weren’t mean.  You were honest.  You really know women!  Thank you!”

     So, basically, I’m told that I understand women… that I know how they think… and understand why they do things… but hey, if that’s true, then why the Hell do I keep getting screwed over?

     Sorry, but if that shows “great understanding” on my part, then the Universe really is stacked against us… 😉

     When I came back into the country five years ago, I was pretty sick of renting movies at Ballbuster (and a few other places) because they were usually staffed by teeny-boppers who were more interested in playing Playstation games behind the counter than actually helping anyone.  I figured if I could “cut out the middle man” and actually get the movies I wanted, it’d make things a lot more simple.
     I took the plunge, signed up with Netflix.com, and couldn’t be happier.

     While living in DC, it was easy.  I could drop my returns in a government maildrop, and the very next day, I’d have a fresh DVD.  After moving back to Knoxville — my hometown — things got a little worse.
     Certain Post Offices in Knoxville just suck.  They lose things, don’t deliver things for weeks, hold onto things, send them back “Addressee Unknown,” and a multitude of other, more destructive, handling errors that make me wonder if they’re not getting their staff from a soup line somewhere… and God knows there are plenty in this burg…

     I’ve had one particular movie out for quite a while.  I finally watched it a few weeks ago, and dropped it in the mail with three others around July 22nd.  Two arrived back at Netflix on the 25th.  One arrived back 26th.  One still hasn’t arrived… Meanwhile, three more DVD’s were shipped out to me on the 25th and 26th, but I still haven’t gotten the bloody things.
     Imagine my surprise earlier today when received e-mail notification that the three they’d shipped to me had been received back at Netflix…

     I called Netflix Customer Service — for the first time in ages — and spoke with a rep named Mary Ann.  She went through the usual steps, verified my address, and found that the DVD’s had actually looped from the Post Office.
     “Typical,” I told her.  “This post office blows… If you look back in my history, you’ll notice every shipping problem I’ve ever reported was from this specific place…”
     “You know what, you’ve been a good customer for a really long time,” she said.  “Nearly five years.  Wow!”
     We talked a bit more about the problems, and found that the new Netflix policy allows them to go after a specific Post Office on behalf of a customer when there are more than three incidents within a ninety-day period.  Good news!
     “While we’re waiting for problems, and I sincerely hope you don’t have any, I’m gonna knock 25% of your charges for the next few months, and give you a couple of vouchers for extra DVD’s,” she said happily.
     “Are you serious?” I asked.  It clearly wasn’t the fault of Netflix.
     “Well, I wouldn’t do this for a customer that’d only been with us for three months, but like I said, you’ve been a good customer for five years, and you deserve a little extra something,” she explained.
     “Wow!” I exclaimed.  “I really appreciate that!  Thanks!”
     “You’re very welcome!”

     My complaint wasn’t with Netflix, and I had questions. She understood my questions, answered them, gave me a number of things I could do to assist in rectifying the situation and then went out of her way to give me a few courtesies for being a long-time, loyal customer.
     Now, seriously, how often does that happen when you call up with inquiry?
     And how could I not refer other people to them given that sort of experience?

     Really, customer service has sucked almost everywhere for a while now, due in no small part to the cost savings of setting up middle-of-nowhere call centers with completely untrained staff who don’t know the product or technology and simply aren’t used to dealing with people.  And foreign outsourcing only makes that sort of thing even worse…

     Fortunately, Netflix has US-based call centers filled with polite, friendly and knowledgable staff who are truly interested when there’s a problem.  That’s almost unheard of these days.  (Well, unless you’re dealing with one of my companies — heads will roll over poor Customer Service)   

     As a representative of her company, what Mary Ann portrayed today was a business with a proper, correct and reputable mindset.  It’s no wonder they’re the biggest and brightest, even though there are several more inexpensive alternatives.
     95% of the DotCom start-ups out there (and cellphone carriers, service companies, fast food, etc. etc. etc.) believe in attracting “New Business” all the time.  They utilize Blitzkreig customer service and Viral marketing which ensures that they sell “one” of everything they offer to every person in the world, and move on to the next customer. 
     High customer turnover isn’t good for anyone; the methodology is entirely incorrect in any business, and especially bad for a Service company where solid customer relationships are crucial for maintaining long-term, residual capital.  Regular, established customers are the ones who continue to come back, refer new business, and stick with you through the lean times.  They’re your best marketers, and they deserve to be treated with a little dignity.

     Netflix, very obviously, gets that.  It’s refreshing to see that they instill those values in the Customer Service reps, as well.

Live at The Pilot Light in Knoxville’s Old City

Saturday, August 4th – 9PM – $5 Cover

Where redneck meets punk — and kitsch collides with bitch — you’ll always find the Rude Street Peters!  Once touted as “Knoxville’s drunkest band,” the Peters have enjoyed two decades of cult-like following. 

With hits like “Snakesnatch” and “Stumbling Tumbleweeds,” the band continues to be a splinter in the eye of those who consider that all music should be for mass consumption.  Put simply:  They beligerantly don’t give a f$*& what you think.

From their site:

MOONSHINE SWILLIN’, DOPE SMOKIN’ PUNK ROCK FOR THE WHOLE FUCKIN’ FAMILY ! WITH THE I.Q. OF A RETARDED MULE AND THE LIVERS OF 49 GEORGE JONES’ , THE PETERS MAKE MUSIC THAT BELONGS IN A SNAKE HANDLIN’ CHURCH JUST AS MUCH AS IT’S AT HOME IN THE SMOKIEST OF DIVE BARS. BUY OUR SHIT HERE OR HERE.

     So … Hey … Be there … Or don’t.

     I haven’t found any suitable artists to keep writing about on the 2nd of every month.  Phil Hansen, who I blogged about in May, impressed me a lot because he’s not a pretentious asshat like so many others.  I’ve seen a lot of impressive artists, but a crappy attitude can turn me off their work regardless of how much I like it.
     So … Check out Phil’s Goodbye Art, where he take X-Ray photographs made from sand and foam, and… well… watch the video.  Cool stuff.  🙂

     Fracas did a silly post the other day about Kissing, and posted a really nice photo along with it.  I looked all over trying to find who it belonged to, thinking, “Here’s a Photo Artist who really manages to strike a nerve or two…”  Alas, I couldn’t where it came from.  Some people might disagree, but to me, it’s something I’d have hanging on my wall…

     As far as Photographic Artists are concerned, I know an absolutely brilliant photographer, still a hidden talent, who promises to get his portfolio together soon… And strangely enough, he writes for this blog…