Posts Tagged with "drinking"

Another Disturbing Pickup Line

February 8th, 2014 at 5:35 pm by Mark
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Nothing screams “sexy beast!” like a bottle of Grey Goose, a pull-out couch and a framed (bad) pickup line done in needlepoint by your grandchild-craving mother.

"The couch pulls out but I don't."

Alcohol Is a Solution

February 3rd, 2014 at 7:01 pm by Mark
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It’s also great to clean the white spots from your bathroom mirror so you can take more embarrassing, drunken selfies.

Technically speaking, Alcohol is a solution

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JCPenney Drunk for Superbowl

February 3rd, 2014 at 5:02 pm by Mark
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The first step in every 12-step program should be, “Put down the keyboard.”

@JCPenney: "Toughdown Seadawks!! Is sSeattle going toa runaway wit h this???"  @Kia: "Hey, @jcpenney need a designated driver?"   Go Home, JCPenney.  You're drunk.

Are You a Problem Solver?

February 3rd, 2014 at 3:41 pm by Mark
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I should have slept in ’til noon on this, the most Monday of Mondays.

When people tell me, "You're gonna regret that in the morning," I sleep in till noon because I'm a problem solver.

Robinhood: Free Stocks for your Referrals!

Drunk Aliens

February 1st, 2014 at 7:55 pm by Mark
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The same could be said to Justin Bieber…

Go Home, Aliens.  You're Drunk.