Moonbats and Asshats were certainly rife on Super Tuesday. 

     For weeks to come, we’ll keep hearing political commentary from people who have about as much grasp on politics as Pope does on WWII History. 
     *cough*

     As I was voting with a change of Address and voting venue, I was at the polls for quite a while watching and listening to people.  It’s an adamantly blue-collar, pro-union district, so naturally there are a lot of blue voters, especially of the “Damn Yankee!” variety — the type who get “Damn” attached to the beginning of their titles because they won’t go home.  *snicker*
     So I began to take notes of some of the conversations I overheard while waiting…

“What do you mean Democrat or Republican?  How should I know?  I wanna vote for Obama.  Is he a Republican or a Democrat?”

     Words cannot begin to describe my disdain for this particular style of voting.  As surely as there’s lonely brain cell left to rattle around in a nearly empty skull, you should know something so basic about the person you’re giving your support to run the country.

“Oh, god, you know I’m a Democrat.  Republicans are stupid.  Hey, do I have to sign my name here where it says?”

     I thought to myself, “No, just put an X, dipshit.”

“The only reason you won’t support Cinton is because you’re a man!  I am sick to death of all the latent misogyny by the patriarchal anti-Clinton camp!”

     No, apparently she wasn’t quite “sick to death,” as I could still hear her.  It’s funny to me how it never occurrs to some people that it’s Hillary-bashing, not Woman-bashing.  Which brings me to next part:

“You won’t vote for Obama ’cause you’re a racist!”

     Umm … Ok.  Of course, the same guy came out and said:

“Man, I voted for Hillary.”

     *shakes head*  So, uhh… He’s a racist?  And proud of it?

     Which brings up another:

“I scrolled to Obama and hit Cast Ballot.  And the screen came up and said ‘Thank you for your vote.’  I think I messed up.  Can I do it again?  No?  Man, you all are racist!”

     Ya know… I just… How the… Why… *shakes head*

     On a similar note:

“Uh, it says to press the Enter button.  Is that the big green one that says Enter?”

     I thought about saying, “Nah, it’s the big red one that says, ‘Cast Ballot,'” but since the last guy who made that mistake nearly went postal, I decided to just stand there and shake my head a while longer…

     Finally, with my Failsafe paperwork approved, I was able to rejoin the line and make my way up to the registry official.
     “Democrat or Republican?” the official asked the guy in front of me.
     “Republican,” he whispered as quietly as possible.
     “REPUBLICAN?” the official yelled.
     “Uh, yeah, yeah,” he whispered, glancing nervously towards the jeers from around him.
     He signed his name.  He walked, with an, “Excuse me,” through the crowd and over to the Voting Booths.  He cast his vote.  He walked out.

     When it was my turn, I did the same.

     But I still wonder where all the animosity comes from.

     If having different opinions is so bad, then why bother voting at all?

     …but I do need a vacation with my rv decals amazon before indenturing myself into 9-5 servitude.  Wherever shall I go?

I was planning a beautiful trip going camping with my new set of waterproof tents.

     Following up on the previous four lessons, Donnie takes us through yet another lesson in You Suck at Photoshop #5.

     Yeah, and I think we’ve been there at least once…

Every so often, there comes a time when something is just slightly irritating enough to be a tongue-punch in the old backdoor, Mind you not in the kinky variety of “ooh, please sir…  May I…  I need some more!”  Rather in the “Eww, gross!”  I feel weird when I am a propositioned by the seedy old man at the rest stop sort of way; yes, that is how I feel when people with the help of God still can’t seem to understand what I am saying.  For crying out loud, I speak the same English that they do.  It can’t be this difficult.

I specifically said to someone “I can’t do anything with those images, my lab won’t let me.”  However they still went on to tell me that I could indeed do so if I performed said mentioned set of magic tricks while holding an emasculated monkey doing the can-can on its head.  To which I said, “Perhaps you didn’t hear me correctly, I cannot do anything to those images.  The proprietary software won’t register the images as actually there if I do that.”

For a reason unannounced to anyone but the other person and God himself, (sorry for Hitlery supporters, but God has to be masculine as no woman would let the world get this far,) this person still demanded that I be able to make changes to the images anyways.  Oh well, I guess that will be the last time I try to ask a so-called colleague (who probably couldn’t photograph their way out of paper bag,) for an opinion about work in the same field.  They don’t spend any money on work you do for them anyhow.

(Where Bright Red = “Oh, HELL no!” and Bright Green = “For shizzle”)

     Note there are no bright greens. 

     ’nuff said.

Note: Adapted from MSNBC’s Candidates vs. Issues Matrix

It has come to my attention by way of massive amounts of subversive hinting — and some hints that were blatant — that I should share some knowledge in this area.  Mind you, this advice is only aimed at a choice few to include 90 percent of the clueless dating population: men or boys as the case may be from the ages of 18-65; Women from the ages of 18-50; and anyone else who just can’t seem to get their luck up. However, for men, it shouldn’t take that long, there’s a lot of website like girlfriendactivationsystemreview.net which guide you step by step how to win woman’s heart. (On the off chance, you go to church on a regular basis; the previous statement should be “laid” instead of luck.)

Rule number 1:  Remember to reference the dating blogs. Pay special attention to Flirting 101, Flirting 102, and Flirting 103.  If you are like me, do a search for dating through that lovely search bar in the right corner of the screen.  The ones that reference dating in a more depressing light are there for a reason, too.  After all, “a step is a stumble forward, prevented from becoming a fall by taking another step” –Barton Green.

2.  Listen to your best friends.  Deep down, whether you choose to see it or not, they really do have your best interests at heart.

3.  Listen to your best friends.  They can also be a viable judge of character when your judgment clouds. Therefore, this point gets two spots instead of one.

4.  Pay yourself first; never jump in to a relationship where you cannot gain something.  However, with that said you should always be willing to give in order to receive.

5.  Cleanliness is next to Godliness.  Without roots there can be no foundation, if you are trying to sell yourself to someone else you must present your best self.

6.  Treat anyone and everyone with respect.  If you do not respect the person or persons you are trying to court, how can you expect them to treat you any different?

7.  Be patient.  If you are just like your horoscope tells you to be, good things happen to those who wait.

8.  Don’t be afraid to make the first move.  Other people do not know what you are thinking; they are not mind readers.  For the same reason, do not take it too far.  If you ask for dinner, pay for it and have dinner.  More can, and most likely will, come later. 😉

9.  Talk and speak your mind.  If you just get down to business, it is nothing but a one-night stand.  You have to figure out who the other person is and whether or not you are compatible (i.e.: can you live with one another in your lives?).

10.  Keep business and pleasure as simply that.  Then, if one or the other goes awry, you still have some sort of relationship you can salvage.

With this advice, you are now ready to embark back into the dating society of intellectual beings, no matter what their leanings may be in either the bedroom or the political arena.  As there will be further additions to this post, do not forget to keep posted.

God bless, good night, and good luck.