So I’m not forwarding it to anyone.  But if someone wants to do it, add your blog and location to the bottom of this list, and send it on.

A Secular Franciscan Life – Billings, Montana, USA
Erica’s Blog – Brooklyn, New York, USA
Groanin’ Jock – Montrose, Scotland, Great Britain
The Kat House – Knoxville, Tennessee, USA
blogitude.com (Mark Steel) – Knoxville, Tennessee, USA
WhoreChurch – Tennessee, USA
blogitude.com (Diva Howe) – Knoxville, Tennessee, USA 

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My father had an ear for the beach tune back in the day. I was promptly named Rhonda after that catchy ditty “Help Me, Rhonda”.

Thanks, Daddy. Without fail, at least once a day, somebody will serenade me.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Wow, remarkably, it’s been about three and a half minutes since I cried. Which is amazing because Diva is a big cry-baby.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
No. Especially when I’m in a hurry. My hand writing is all fat and bubble like.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
I don’t do lunch meat. California veggie sandwich for me, please. Avocado, sprouts, cucumber, pepper cheese all topped off with salt, pepper and vinaigrette.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
I have plenty of children running around. Two of them are actual products of my pain and suffering through 9 months of hell. Two of them are mine by proxy, and I love them very much. The youngest, the boy, my grandson, is currently undergoing the morphization into the terrible twos

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I’m sure I would be. I can appreciate a sarcastic and extremely snide bitty.

DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Absolutely not.

DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Indeed I do.

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I’m not sure I have it in me to go flying off of a perfectly good bridge or platform anymore. I’m turning wimpy in my old age.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
I’m a sucker for Rice or Corn Chex.

DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Flip-flops don’t have laces

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
No. I’m a wuss, physically and emotionally.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Double Chocolate Malted Crunch from Thrifty.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
If they are nice or mean or stuck up or snotty or sweet.

RED OR PINK?
Pink everything.

WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
I have no will power.

WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
I miss my mom and my sister. They are too far away and I only get to see them now and then.

WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
khaki capris and brown Jesus sandals

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
A pack of crackers and coffee for breakfast.

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The fan blowing in our common area

IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Pink. One of the bright ones though.

FAVORITE SMELLS?
My grandbaby when he is fresh and clean after his bath.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Amanda.

FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
UT VOL ball, NASCAR

FAVORITE HAIR COLOR[S]?
Blondish, with some brownish and redish mixed up in there.

FAVORITE EYE COLOR?
Mine are blue.

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Nope. I’m supposed to but they drive me completely insane.

FAVORITE FOOD?
When I get to pick, it’s almost always the same. Taquitos. It’s hard to screw up a taquito. Slap some chicken and onions and stuff in a rolled tortilla, fry the hell out of it, serve with guacamole, sour cream and pico. It’s a mini art form.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Love a good horror flick.

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
I was twitchin for some original Star Wars and the postal employee just happened to bring it to me the other day from Netflix.

WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Brown tank

SUMMER OR WINTER?
I have decided I hate summer in East Tennessee almost as much as I hate winter in East Tennessee. I basically just hate the climate here year round.

HUGS OR KISSES?
Can’t I have both?

FAVORITE DESSERT?
I love me some Crème’ Brulee.

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
I never bothered to learn how to read.

WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Its one of those liquid filled numbers.

WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Laid on the couch and watched Boston Legal.

FAVORITE SOUND[S]?
Rain on the roof/porch. Love to hear the tree frogs too.

ROLLING STONES OR THE BEATLES?
I like them both about the same. I’d rather hear The Doors if I have a choice.

WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Germany

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
You bet I do. I’m working on becoming leader of the Darkside.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Cottage Hospital in beautiful Santa Barbara, California

WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
I’m not forwarding this. I’m not asking anyone to complete this. I’m just sitting here at work, bored as hell.

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

 I hate that there are some people in this life that take everything that happens to them seriously.  I guess you’d call them drama queens/kings.   These are the people that must have everything revolve around them.  These are the people who keep the shit stirred.  And if they don’t have their own shit stirring, they go and stir some for someone else… just to keep something going at all times. 

People like this need to be bitch-slapped.  Real problems are drama.  Not the fact that your lay of the day, whom you’ve found on an internet dating site, is seeing no less than 4 other people at the same time as you.  This is not drama.  This is poor judgement.

Real life drama is loosing a child.  Real life drama is wondering how you’re gonna pay the rent.  Real life drama is your car breaking down and having no money to fix it. Visit Your URL lendplex.co.uk for more details.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

Paris Hilton.  I know it seems like I’m obsessing over her lately.  Maybe I am because I’m bored and have no real life of my own.  Regardless of that, the skank is totally a fake.  Just because she’s locked up in a cage, she’s claiming to have found Jesus.  She told Babs Walters that she’s been reading the Bible and other and a sorted variety of other religion-inspired books. 

First, I’m not so sure that after only 4 days in jail that the girl had time to read AND ABSORB enough information out of the inspired books.  Look, it takes biblical scholars years and years of reading and studying to make heads and/or tails of the Bible.  And she wants to convince all of us common folk that she’s really getting into it and learning something. 

B- Anybody who watches E! News (or Fox or CNN for that matter) has heard about the humongus “Paris is getting out of jail” bash that’s being planned.  Do you think that she’s gonna read enough about Jesus and righteous living that she’s not gonna turn up a bottle and get ripped?   Me either. 

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

I’m extremely unhappy that I went outside on a scorching hot Sunday afternoon to wash my car.  I did a bang up job too.  I even cleaned the wheels with that crap that can eat the skin off of your hands.   It looked super great!

I went in the house to get a glass of ice water.  When I came back outside 10 minutes later a bird had already shit on the trunk.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

I give my kids credit today.  After all that he put them through while they were growing up, they still try to treat their dad with some sort of love and respect.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

I am coming out of “sloth” mode and getting motivated to do something and be somebody again.  Which actually feels really, really good.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

I think I’ll wish for sex this week.  Sex and days off from work.  Sex, days off from work and a new car.  Sex, days off from work, a new car and to win the lottery or some lucky moves at https://www.casinoarbi.com/. 

Sex, days off from work, a new car, to win the lottery, and lots of beer.  Yah, that would make today alot of fun.  Sex, on my extra day off, in my new car that I got with my winnings from the lottery which was sponsered by a beer company. Get the car of your dreams, get the best refinance car bad credit and get the car you deserve!

Yah, that’s it.

Now it’s your turn.

You can take part in The Monday Melee, even make it a regular feature at your site by visiting The Monday Melee page and following the steps. Kick-start your brain on Mondays and meet other bloggers.

My household is short one member this morning.  My daughter is super sad. 

I woke up around 1-ish this morning and the livingroom lights were on.  I rounded the corner to find my child, her boyfriend and my new son sitting around looking extremely sad.

My first instinct was to be pissy because the boyfriend was still here.  Then I figured by the solemn expression on each face that something indeed was troubling them.

(taking a diaper the grandson break…. DEAR LORD the smell)

The next thing I noticed was the lizard’s habitat was not in the girl’s bedroom, but in the livingroom with the depressed looking children.  I was told the lizard was passing into the next life.  Immediately, I was transported into late night depression too.

FLASHBACK:  “Mom, we’re goin out to catch lightnin bugs,” my daughter said.

They came in and went to the bedroom, where the lizard habitat is housed, lightning bug contraption in tow.  Out of the bedroom I hear them giggle as the lizard must have been performing tricks to get the treat.

Lizards eat bugs, that’s nature.  So, they figured since it would jump across its home to get a cricket, it would jump in the air to get a flying critter. 

They finish feeding it 3 of the luminescent delicacies. And put in a movie.  That’s when I went off to bed.

BACK TO THE NOW:  So, whilst Diva slept, the lizard was becoming very ill.  By the time I woke up, it was too late.  They had looked it up on teh internets.  Fireflies are TOXIC and not to be ingested by any other living creature. 

We will be burying Joey today.  Out back.  Next to the rat that didn’t make it through baby rat birth.

I suppose in order to ease her sadness, I’ll wait a day or two and go get her another reptilian playmate.  We’ll try a snake this time I think.

     If I ever meet Eddie Vedder, I wanna slap him down with the corpse of Jimi Hendrix … Then beat them both to a greasy mash with a giant baseball bat bearing the word “ANNUNCIATE!” in giant block letters, written with a permanent Sharpie…

     But that’s just me. *shrug* 

     I feel justified, having put up with him in three bands which sound exactly the same (collectively known as “Stone Pilots of the Pearl Temple Dog Jam”), and a solo carreer that’s long past its expiry date…

     But, in all fairness, at least we see eye-to-eye on one thing:  I don’t want a whale in a box or a bag, either.

     Anton and I were watching the Flash-based predecessor to this final product a few weeks ago, and making some serious fun of Eddie Vedder’s lack of … English?  Which is sort of ironic, I think, considering how often Anton and I put captions on cat photos…

Tip: Dame Wiggins of Lee, who finally gets it: When all else fails, laugh!

[ Note: This is Diva’s first Monday Melee, published on 11-Jun-2007 ]

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.
I hate haters. I’m sarcastic and all, but I don’t really hate anyone. I just think some people are completely ignorant and should wear a cone-dork hat all the time.

But people who hate everybody and everything (generally for no reason at all) annoy me greatly. Two words: hater blockers. You can find them at your corner store, reasonably priced, of course.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
Until proven otherwise, the voice on my voice mail the other night was really an extremely good impression of a female voice. Had I not known better, I would have thought it was really a chick leaving me that message.

UPDATE:  Diva has found out that Diva is way off.  I should be whipped with a wet noodle for spreading such rumors without concrete proof.  I admit it.  I was wrong.   I’m sorry.  Forgive a Diva, won’tcha?

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
I am honestly unhappy with my daddy right now. I love him so much, I really do. And this may sound hateful, but I can’t help it.

He is drinking himself to death. No matter how much I love him, talk to him, beg him, get mad at him, ignore him, taxi him, and try to care for him… he just won’t knock it off. And I’ll be honest. I’m pissed about it. I’d like to have him around for a while. He’s not that old, but he’s diggin his own grave on drink at a time. If I was doing an asshat of the day post, he’s a prime target.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.
I give that salesman at Lance Cunningham Ford credit for sucking my man into buying that damn truck after I had a tissy fit over it. Good for him.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I may not have all the money in the world. I may not be able to give my kids all the crap that I’d like to give them. But I give them what’s really important. I love them.

So, I guess the answer is I’m a kick ass mama that would go through hell and high-water for her kiddies.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
I wish that all of the many parts of my life would come together, for one fleeting moment even, and I could have that happy, content feeling inside. Pretty damn big wish I suppose.

Now it’s your turn.

You can take part in The Monday Melee, even make it a regular feature at your site by visiting The Monday Melee page and following the steps. Kick-start your brain on Mondays and meet other bloggers.