Yes, I too succumb to peer-pressure.  I’ve thought about doing this since Mark started doing it.  (A very trendy guy he seems to have become.)  I finally have overcome the strong urge not post this at all or wait until Tuesday just to go against the grain.  I now will attempt to woo you with my version, (drum roll please,) of my very own:

Monday Melee

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

Misuse or overuse of words: like, f*ck, dude, man, buddy and many left unmentioned.  When can we go back to using the words correctly?  Why must we always use euphemistic language to soften the blow?  I say you may not like it but at least you can get the point across.  Besides, life is just too short for that kind of crap.

*close second: OLD NEWS

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

Beer commercials…  They can’t all be the greatest beer in the world.  There is only room for one beer to have the title.  Unfortunately, I personally don’t think it exists…  I know how I would be if I were a brewer, I’d drink it!!!  This friends, this very occurrence is quite possibly, what may have happened.  A perfect beer probably was created and the brewers got drunk and forgot how to do make it.  To mangle a Tenacious D line, none of this is the greatest beer in the world…  It is just a tribute.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

My pants…  I can’t them on or off fast enough and they never stay up when I want them to.  (I don’t want to be an ass to the entire world, nor show it to them either.)

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

Hats off to the woman who convinced me to move to this strange city…  Unfortunately, I still find it very strange and unfortunately unfamiliar.  Nevertheless, I think I like it.  Maybe if it were covered in chocolate or genitalia it would be more enticing.  Maybe I could convince some of my friends would come and visit too…

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

My insatiable ability to find new ways to amuse myself…  (No Mark and Diva, I already knew why God gave me two hands.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

Must I really?  Okay…  Love, Sex, Money, Carie, Steady Work, Sex, Happiness (the spelling needs to change to Happenis, because I’ve never been around anyone for long who wasn’t happy a penis was involved), Sex, Food, Love, Love that comes with food, Carie, my friends to be happy even in my abstinence (oops I meant absence…)

Thus is the conclusion of my Monday Melee.  You too can join in the fun by visiting The Monday Melee page and completing the steps.  Kick-start your brains on Mondays, meet other bloggers, and by George have a darn good time too.

[ Note: This is Diva’s first Monday Melee, published on 11-Jun-2007 ]

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.
I hate haters. I’m sarcastic and all, but I don’t really hate anyone. I just think some people are completely ignorant and should wear a cone-dork hat all the time.

But people who hate everybody and everything (generally for no reason at all) annoy me greatly. Two words: hater blockers. You can find them at your corner store, reasonably priced, of course.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
Until proven otherwise, the voice on my voice mail the other night was really an extremely good impression of a female voice. Had I not known better, I would have thought it was really a chick leaving me that message.

UPDATE:  Diva has found out that Diva is way off.  I should be whipped with a wet noodle for spreading such rumors without concrete proof.  I admit it.  I was wrong.   I’m sorry.  Forgive a Diva, won’tcha?

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
I am honestly unhappy with my daddy right now. I love him so much, I really do. And this may sound hateful, but I can’t help it.

He is drinking himself to death. No matter how much I love him, talk to him, beg him, get mad at him, ignore him, taxi him, and try to care for him… he just won’t knock it off. And I’ll be honest. I’m pissed about it. I’d like to have him around for a while. He’s not that old, but he’s diggin his own grave on drink at a time. If I was doing an asshat of the day post, he’s a prime target.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.
I give that salesman at Lance Cunningham Ford credit for sucking my man into buying that damn truck after I had a tissy fit over it. Good for him.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I may not have all the money in the world. I may not be able to give my kids all the crap that I’d like to give them. But I give them what’s really important. I love them.

So, I guess the answer is I’m a kick ass mama that would go through hell and high-water for her kiddies.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
I wish that all of the many parts of my life would come together, for one fleeting moment even, and I could have that happy, content feeling inside. Pretty damn big wish I suppose.

Now it’s your turn.

You can take part in The Monday Melee, even make it a regular feature at your site by visiting The Monday Melee page and following the steps. Kick-start your brain on Mondays and meet other bloggers.

     I got this comment, and thought, “Hey, why not make this asshat famous?  He’s almost as cool as Joseph Ferrante!”

mullah cimoc | shirin_hassan77@yahoo.com | IP: 67.166.109.28

mullah cimoc say paris hilton the good and the courage. him not run away, but go to jail. this calld the charcter.

she the beautifuyl and the natural and having so many baby in future to be good wife and mother.

but lesbian ameriki and lesbian ameriki mans hating her for natural the beauty and normal liking the boy.

ameriki so wicked and hate the woman unless she killing the baby and liking the lesbian.

in waziristan this not happen. father him not allow anyone hurting him daughter. taking the “special measure”. but ameriki so tame now. no respect for self.

in waziristan whole clan attacking this wicked judge and destroy, and also destry him entire family, to include even the second cousin. and burn with fire. and all grave of ancestor destroy and give bone for dog.

hypocrite liar ameriki say him “free” the womans but in true..ameriki woman the whore with LBT (low back tattoo) and hate husband. only free to having the abortion kill bnaby , to being slut and bad wife not cooking.
so soon all ameriki need make freedom and destroy controlling of usa by masters in tel aviv through spy in white house and pentagon.

for him true and good info: stop1984now@yahoo.com

     If you look around the ‘net, you’ll find all sorts of garbage like that from Mullah Comic … errr, Mullah Cimoc, rather.

     Dude, yer not funny.  Really.  Stop it.

     Besides, I still know several women with LBT’s who are pretty good cooks, although, I don’t know of any like that from where you are in Utah (which is a long way from Waziristan, Pakistan, last I checked).  Regardless, when they’re not cooking, at least their husbands have something to aim at…

Well as I slipped, tripped, and stuck my Blogitude.com in your wife, (see the ever-changing logo above), I remembered an Eddie Izzard skit from Dress to Kill:

But we’ve got known in Britain for making the smaller films, you know. Recently, we’ve been pulling out of that into the more “Trainspotting” area, but the smaller films, they’re kind of “a room with a view with a staircase and a pond”-type movies. Films with very fine acting, but the drama is rather sort of subsued and – subsumed or – a word like that. Sub- something or another. You know, just folded in and everything’s people opening doors.

“Oh, I’m – oh, what? Well, I’ve – oh.”

“What is it, Sebastian? I’m arranging matches.”

“Well, I – I thought you – … I’d better go.”

“Yes, I think you’d better had.” ( sings morose melody )

And you can’t eat popcorn to that! You’re going ( mimes trying to eat popcorn but getting frustrated  and sighs ).

Whereas if the film did any little bit of business in America, if the film did some decent bit of business, then Hollywood would take it, and they’d remake it, and they’d up the budget by 50 million and it’d be called, “The Room With A View of Hell!” “Staircase of Satan!” “Pond of Death.” And have people open the door, going,

“You’re fucking in here all the time! All the time you’re in here with the fucking matches! In here with the fucking matches! You’re fucking doing and fucking ( clucking )”

“You don’t talk to me that way! You don’t talk to me that way! You fuck my wife? You fuck my wife? You fuck my wife? You fuck my wife? You fuck my wife?”

“I am your wife!”

“That doesn’t matter! That doesn’t matter! I say again, you fuck my wife?”

“All right, yes, I fucked your wife. I am your wife, and I fucked her.”

” ( Nonsensical ) fucking matches – I can’t get ’em… I’m going to drive around town and put babies on spikes.”

( sounds of babies sliding on the spikes )

“Oh, no! Space monkeys are attacking!” A whole new part of the film that wasn’t in the original! ( mimics battle sounds )

“Damn, its jammed!” ( dialing on mobile ) “Janine, I love you really, even though you fucked my wife…” ( big explosion )

( mimics eating and drinking everything in sight while watching ) “It’s a fucking handbag. With a brick in it! It’s the Queen! Don’t know who that is…” Yeah.

And then I thought to myself, “Gee, Mark hasn’t posted and unknown artist this week… ” Comedy even in word form is art.  (Especially if someone can cover an existing work in feces or make an object out of it and then it is placed in MoMA.)  So I present to you a teacher, who not unlike some of us here at blogitude.com shares a wonderful ability to play with the mind using words.  Always speaking his mind,  Taylor Mali, is simply here to make you use your head for something besides a hat rack.

     I arrived at Bailey’s just after 6PM to find Doug McCaughan (of Reality Me!) pulling in at the same time with his son Tommy.   We entered to find Michael Silence (No Silence Here) and Mushy (Mushy’s Moochings and others).
     Over the next few minutes, Tish (The Kat House), Rich Halley (Shots Across the Bow), Les Jones (lesjones.com) and Lissa Kay (Oh… Really?) showed up.

     A little later, the last of us headed to Oak Ridge to see The Atomic Horns at the Eagle’s Club — featuring none other than Barry (Inn of the Last Home) on keyboards.  There aren’t many “full bands” around the area these days, and these guys & gals were really fun — a mixture of soul, rock, disco and funk from the previous thirty years.  The ode to the Blues Brothers was hilarious.  😉

     Here’s a photo of Tish from The Kat House and Mushy from Mushy’s Moochings, standing there side-by-side, as if they were a couple or something.

     Notably absent: Diva, who messaged me at 11:21PM to ask whether or not these people really existed.  LOL