Archive for December, 2008

The Following Can Go Fuck Themselves Today…

December 31st, 2008 at 11:59 am by Glenn
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The Following Can Go Fuck Themselves Today:

  • The ugly loud girl at Starbucks who was too busy being ugly and loud instead of properly putting together an order of a decaf coffe and a mocha.
  • The guy at Starbucks who decided it was a good idea to remove melon — yeah I said it… MELON — flavoring for my damn morning green tea.
  • Whoever the idiot at Arm and Hammer was who decided to add some element to their laundry detergent that makes my butt, crotch, and armpits itch.  You truly suck sir.
  • The idiot in charge of the interface for sharing usb drives within OSX.
  • The fuckhead who installed my desk 3 inches too low.  Shit.  That was me.
  • Sun Microsystems for that piece of shit application Open Office that sems to crash more often than it allows me to change a default font.
  • The grand idiot, Mark Steel, at for giving *me* of all people a damn account.  Pendejo.
  • Motley Crue for “Home Sweet Home”.

… And I only got to work an hour ago.  This is going to be the best day ever!

Happy New Year!


It Always Starts Innocently Enough

December 29th, 2008 at 10:42 pm by Mark
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     “Hey, you should come over Wednesday night.  Plenty of food!”
     “So, what, you’re havin’ a party?”
     “Well, I hadn’t thought of it like that, but lots of food, a few friends, drinks…”

     Yeah, I remember those days… I’ll bet Mr. McCaughan does, too…

     Just a “few friends,” indeed…

     Then the next morning, you’re trying to figure out who shat in the cat’s litter box and why all the deck furniture from Ivy and Wilde is in the trees.  The VW Microbus sitting in the den can never be easily explained.

     Exasperated due to many futile attempts, I’d usually just scream, “Those damn raccoons!”

     I mean, what the hell was I supposed to say?

     It’s not like anyone ever actually believed me when it was so clearly the work of Sebastian Cabot and his evil horde of winged monkies…

     Damn evil hordes of winged monkies!