The last time I had to work on an MF Audi, the MF small, plastic valve cost MF $360, and an hour of my time trying to get the MF clamps off of the MF hoses — and it still didn’t MF fix the problem. But these MF’s fix MF Audis, and, to sweeten the deal, if you buy a MF car from them, they give you a MF FREE TATTOO from one of Knoxville’s most prestigious MF tattoo parlors. That’s just MF crazy…

At least it wasn’t a Terrorist Lobster who ran into the middle of the kitchen screaming, “Arthropodu ackbar!” while detonating an improvised explosive device… I really hate when that happens.

While we’re at it, I’ll just go ahead and believe everything on the Internet is true, politicians never lie, the check actually is in the mail, and that the red eyes and cotton mouth aren’t actually the first stage of anaphylactic shock because weed is actually good for me given that it’s all natural — just like uranium, arsenic and lead… Thank you! Drive through…

There are times I’m forced to resort to eBay when sourcing LCD screens for notebook computers. eBay can be a real mixed back, especially when you see something like this and the item description says, “As pictured.” I was very close to buying the item, but was afraid of receiving what was pictured rather than the screen I really needed…

I suppose saying, “When I think about marriage counseling, I always think of Safeway,” might be a little more socially acceptable than saying, “That’s what she said.”