“Hi, I’m Mark. Can I borrow your breasts for a few hours? I’ll give ’em back….”
*blank look* “Are you serious?”
“Unless you wanna let me hold ’em for a while…”
*laughter* “If I could get rid of them for a few hours, I’d be so happy… I’m actually getting tired of carrying them around!”
Any questions?
Have a good weekend. 😉
Those interested in a little late night mischief should certainly check out New Zealand’s #1 Online Dating Site…
It’s funny to me when someone who you thought of as a friend will put money in front of friendship. Personally, I think that this leads you down the road to a very crappy worldview. But it is somewhat interesting to see how people will act over the essence of probable money. It can turn pseudo-friend into worse that foe; former lovers into insult slinging buffoons or business partners into vicious tax collectors. Unfortunately for me this is an overly large let down. For love of God, you would think that the loss of a loved or the end of ties one would cause all parties involved to want to remember the happy memories of the passed. Never would it drive a wedge between friends or even those you considered almost like family.
Why the reason for the sudden cutting of ties? Simply because one person received something from a loved one that was not a member of his or her biological family. This very seldom thing occurs when debt that should have vanished and be non-existent or sheer greed takes over the body. Now a person in this situation must deal with the repercussions of their own poor decision in order to fulfill a desperate need for attention. It is as if they never got enough time, money, or caring sentiments from anyone. When things are really bad… (Which a majority of the other people involved know to be false.)
Second example, the insult slinging buffoon, however is also very similar in behavior to the scum sucking relative. He or she will differ in that during the separation process, he or she will sling names at your friends, family, and your own person. I for instance have become a “vindictive, selfish, unloving, unmotivated, immoral, c*#$sucking a$$hole.”
If I had not realized that this was coming from an insensitive, psychopathic, and lying cesspool of a person I would be taken aback. I hate when a lover-ship sours like a nice white wine. At some point you never get what you invested. Nor do you come anywhere near close to where you started and it sucks the big one. By that point, the only thing unknown about the relationship is how long with the other party keep pestering you?
The worst candidate for pestering you is the business partner when that relationship goes sour. They are slightly more annoying since more of your personal finances tend to be tied into your business, sometimes it is better to get separate business Dealstruck loans. The popularity of instant online decision as a lending option has risen dramatically in the UK. In the same token there is fortunately more distance sometime since it is a legal partnership and can be broken with the assistance of a fabulous mediator. (Wonderful counselor, the prince of peace… well okay, maybe it’s not quite such a divine intervention, it just seems that way sometimes.)
Generally, the repercussions with any of these can (with my involved will,) end on a positive note. In the end the people who irritate or criticize me with no ground to stand on usually go away and leave me be. They quit calling, don’t e-mail, or write letters. Those who choose to drag it out, cause a scene, and raise a ruckus should seek professional help. Why not? Lord knows I will if I fall victim to dealing with any of these unpleasantries.
Yes, I too succumb to peer-pressure. I’ve thought about doing this since Mark started doing it. (A very trendy guy he seems to have become.) I finally have overcome the strong urge not post this at all or wait until Tuesday just to go against the grain. I now will attempt to woo you with my version, (drum roll please,) of my very own:
1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.
Misuse or overuse of words: like, f*ck, dude, man, buddy and many left unmentioned. When can we go back to using the words correctly? Why must we always use euphemistic language to soften the blow? I say you may not like it but at least you can get the point across. Besides, life is just too short for that kind of crap.
*close second: OLD NEWS
2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
Beer commercials… They can’t all be the greatest beer in the world. There is only room for one beer to have the title. Unfortunately, I personally don’t think it exists… I know how I would be if I were a brewer, I’d drink it!!! This friends, this very occurrence is quite possibly, what may have happened. A perfect beer probably was created and the brewers got drunk and forgot how to do make it. To mangle a Tenacious D line, none of this is the greatest beer in the world… It is just a tribute.
3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
My pants… I can’t them on or off fast enough and they never stay up when I want them to. (I don’t want to be an ass to the entire world, nor show it to them either.)
4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.
Hats off to the woman who convinced me to move to this strange city… Unfortunately, I still find it very strange and unfortunately unfamiliar. Nevertheless, I think I like it. Maybe if it were covered in chocolate or genitalia it would be more enticing. Maybe I could convince some of my friends would come and visit too…
5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
My insatiable ability to find new ways to amuse myself… (No Mark and Diva, I already knew why God gave me two hands.
6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
Must I really? Okay… Love, Sex, Money, Carie, Steady Work, Sex, Happiness (the spelling needs to change to Happenis, because I’ve never been around anyone for long who wasn’t happy a penis was involved), Sex, Food, Love, Love that comes with food, Carie, my friends to be happy even in my abstinence (oops I meant absence…)
Thus is the conclusion of my Monday Melee. You too can join in the fun by visiting The Monday Melee page and completing the steps. Kick-start your brains on Mondays, meet other bloggers, and by George have a darn good time too.
My friend Jane has been having serious relationship issues lately. Almost to the point that her head is turning all the way around like that possessed chick in The Exorcist.
After much thought (and actual research) on why relationships fail, I’ve come to the conclusion that the sister just needs to settle down, grow up and learn to deal with real life problems as they come at her.
Jane spent several days in a highly agitated state. Being around her as much as I am, I started to be concerned that something might be wrong in her relationship with the fella she’s supposed to marry soon. So, being a good friend, I asked.
She started explaining that for the most part, her relationship with Pete was awesome. They have alot in common (love of music, riding around with no real destination, talking about silly stuff, family values… you get the picture). She then went on to tell me that even though she knows he loves her and he does so much to show it by spoiling her rotten and giving her everything she could want, that there is something really important missing. Intimacy.
At first it appeared that she was troubled by the decrease in or lack of sex in their relationship. But after listening to her and thinking about what she had been saying, it was clear to me that it was more than her being horny and him ignoring it. There was something more to it.
In a relationship, there has to be a balance in every aspect of the relationship otherwise the whole world may seem like its coming to an end. Everything just has to be n’sync.
The emotional needs of both partners must be met by showing compassion and allowing the other to see into the heart of the partner.
The social needs of both partners must be met by doing things together. Whether taking a road trip, going out with friends or sitting on the front porch having social hour.
The intellectual needs must be met by discussions that run deep. As long as the two can discuss THEIR personal views together it doesn’t matter what the discussion is about. Communication is key in keeping each other interested.
Now, all of the above needs were being met for Jane. But the one need that threw the balance in Jane’s world out of sync was closing in for a kill in the relationship. So, she was naturally falling apart at the seams trying to figure out what to do. She couldn’t figure out why Pete was pushing her away when it came to her physical (sexual) needs.
I asked her if it was just lack of sex. As it turns out she just needs that intimate closeness. The hand on her leg when they are in the car. Getting naked and snuggling close with his arms wrapped around her, without the expectation of sex.
My suggestion to Jane was… talk about it. Make sure you both know what the problem(s) is/are. Many times there is a reason for said problem. Sometimes it takes some tears. Sometimes we have to say what we feel, even if it hurts.
Fact is, it takes work to maintain a relationship. It takes attention to detail in every aspect of that relationship to keep it going strong. If you can’t talk about what might be bothering you and you can’t talk it out, there might just be a bigger problem.
As for my friend Jane, she went to Pete and made sure that the lines of communication were wide open. Hopefully, they can talk about whatever they have going on and get things on track.
