For more info on the subject of this asinine tirade:

A buzz of activity yesterday helped Martin Provencher keep his mind not on what might have happened, but on finding his 9-year-old daughter, Cdrika, who disappeared without a trace eight days ago.

…

Cdrika Provencher is 5 feet tall and weighs 70 pounds. She is white and has curly red hair and brown eyes. Anyone with information about her disappearance should call the SQ at 1-800-659-4264

     Sorry, but I think my solution there is a little more helpful than posting some Asshat’s blog URL…

     Now to focus on the Asshat…

     All day long, Steven has been posting this message to our blog, and everyone else’s blog who was listed on the Google Page Rank 50 Dollar Contest:

I have disregarded any posting on any movies today.Please if anyone has any information on this beautiful redhead little girl call your local police dept.

PLEASE READ THE POST

(Asshat’s URL deleted since he was so polite)

     Four of my friends have send me a message today about the “weird spam” and each time, I’ve told them, “Nah, he seems to be doing it to all of his regular reads…”
     But when the same comment came in the second time, and again went into moderation, I responded to him via e-mail:

To: steven
Date: August 8, 2007 2:47PM 

Steven, I know it’s a PSA, but it’s kinda … well … spamming.  We’ve all heard it all over the news.

Take care,
Mark

    I wasn’t being flippant, but he needs to know that his actions might be ticking people off, eh?

     What I got back instead of an apology, or a plea to go ahead and remove the comment from moderation, was an e-mail from an abusive little asshat with absolutely no manners whatsoever:

From: steven
Date: August 8th, 2007 2:47PM EDT

your an asshole

     I mentioned it to a friend, saying, “Okay… He’s wound a little tight today,” but didn’t bother to respond.
     A few minutes later, got another one…

From: steven
Date: August 8th, 2007 2:53PM

She lives in my province, I thought I would get help from the blogging community.It’s not a psa or spam you ass,it’s called trying to help each other out!!!.obviously you don’t have any children or else you would understand!!!!

GET LOST!!!!

     Thanks for that, Steven.

     Seriously, I couldn’t continue my day without being abused by a random Asshat from Quebec.  Apparently, the problem isn’t only that you’re a repeat-offending spammer, but also that you’re totally lacking in the social graces which tend to be bestowed to most of us who deal with other human beings on a regular basis.

     To summarize:

• You can’t spell “you’re”
• I am an asshole, and an ass (think I needed that newsflash, Mr. Brightspark?)
• Your message was not a Public Service Announcement (PSA)
• Sending the exact same message to every blog attached to a $50 contest is apparently helping us out
• Sending your base URL instead of to an individual post is apparently helping us out, as well
• I don’t have any children
• I should get lost
• Your keyboard apparently has faulty space, shift, one, comma and period keys

     You’re right, Steven… I don’t have any kids because I have a genetic predisposition which results in severe birth defects.  Thanks for reminding me, Asshat.  All those years of therapy undone because you happened to Spam every blogger I know…

     You seem to be suffering from a PEBKAC error.

     Maybe, even, a little I-D-Ten-T.

     Now, Asshat, stop screwing with us and go do something useful … like maybe playing Russian Roulette, or seceding from the Canadian Union or something…

     Ok, I’ve been getting a lot of “weird” comment emails lately, many from women asking bizarre questions about dating, relationships, sex and men in general.  I’ve been trying to decide whether or not to answer them, because quite honestly, some of the questions are pretty uncomfortable.

     I got an e-mail from an ex (like the majority of mine, we’re still friends, or try to be, at times) the other day, talking about her issues with a guy she’s been seeing.  I realized that sometimes it’s difficult to separate the person you know from the person she is now, even it’s been quite a while, but I tried.
     I asked a few friends, “Hey, was this too mean?” and let them read my response.  After I’d already fired it off, of course.

     A few of my female friends adamantly declared, “You should blog that!”

     So … here we go…

     From e-mail:

From: Confused
Date: August 8th, 2007 at 8:07AM

It’s definitely wrong to expect any man to make things better.  That’s something I have to come to terms and deal with … hopefully learn from and move on.  Except …..

You meet a man who’s kind, interesting, humorous and exhibits all these great characteristics. He puts no heavy pressure on you.  You *do* appreciate the effort he’s putting into the relationship and let him know that. 

But then after a while, he gets comfortable/complacent and changes.  The wine and dine/ conversation changes to the beer/ belching/ farting/ cursing and eventually belitting.  Why????  Is it something I caused or was there a sign I should have noticed in the beginning??  In any case, at that point a woman can’t be expected to accept that.

I really don’t think I overanalyze.  I wasn’t expecting anything… It started as  spending time with a friend, and developed into a relationship which I didn’t push at all.

I don’t think I’ve ever asked “tell me you love me”.  If I felt the need to do that, either I’d be insecure in the relationship or in a situation like I was with Mr. Slimebag (I already knew the answer).

You know, I just realized that I’m more upset with being blindsighted than I am with him.  And maybe I’m overthinking a bit because I want to understand why guys do that?

What do guys want???

     Ok, typical thing, right?  A woman breaks up with a guy she’s been seeing, then starts the whole self-doubt and confusion bit…
     But is it ever really that simple?

     There are always two sides to a story… And honestly, in most cases, only half of it makes sense to a guy.

     In cases where “relationships” are going well, sometimes there’s a sudden, gigantic detour into “crazy,” leaving a guy going, “What the f$&* just happened?”
     To me, it’s always ironic, in those situations, when women will come back filled with self-doubt, questioning everything from the relationship to themselves, when that was exactly what caused the diversion to begin with.

     And I’m not saying it’s “always” like that, either… It’s definitely a “sometimes” thing.  It’s just an ironic situation that happens to have been on my mind for about six months.
     So I responded, perhaps a little harshly, and with gigantic generalizations…

     I’ll tell you what guys want … We want someone to be with, to be happy with… Easy … do you really think it’s any more?

     You certainly do the dating persona … showing your best, until you become yourself … I guess you think it’s easier to be yourself once you get to know someone, know that they’re there. 
     I’ve just always been me… nothing more, nothing less.

     You always overanalyze things…

     Your version of “Tell me you love me” is passive-aggressive. “I’m starting to have feelings for you,” “I think about you all the time,” “Would you ever get married again?” “I need you,” “You’re like a drug,” “You’re the only person I can trust,” “I’ve never felt this way before…”
     Those are all pushing towards getting him tell you how he feels.
     Then you get the, “I love you,” which is a hard thing for a guy to admit anyway, and your interest subsides. “You’re obsessive.” “You want more than I want.” “I can’t handle being responsible for your happiness.”
     You can’t be happy … You have to keep asking questions, pushing buttons, and trying to screw things up.

     For guys, it’s different.

     We find a woman — she’s beautiful, she’s demure — and she seems to have her head and her heart in the right place. All wrapped up in a nice little package of sweet and sexy, confident and secure.
     We want be strong for her, so the first thing she does is start showing her emotional side and strokes our ego by appealing to our protective nature.  Then she gets distant as she wrestles with the fact that “I can take care of myself,” “I don’t need anyone else” and starts to pull away.
     Things start to break down.  The more she wrestles with herself, the further away she goes, and the more frustrated we get.  We can only get to know her as much as she’ll show us… And she’s the same woman, but now she’s upset all the time… 
     We keep trying and trying to be strong… but the more she gets upset about every little thing that comes along, the more she pulls away, the harder we try to be there, to make her happy… to help… to fix it…
     And she resents it, begins spouting the typical, “You always want to fix everything!” “Some problems you just can’t fix!” garbage, because she’s terrified to think that someone might be able to look through all her crap and baggage and actually give a damn about her.

     And it’s frustrating as f$&*.

     Somewhere along the line, we get desperate, and start attempting last ditch efforts and ultimatums.  The more she’s around, the more she begins to see our usual nature, along with a new “manic” that we’ve gained from trying to deal with her moods…
     Pretty soon, nothing works.  Every single damn thing we do is an excuse for why, “This isn’t going to work,” regardless of the fact that we never would’ve been like that had she not been so f$&*king fatalistic…

     Okay … sorry … never mind.

     I don’t know what guys want…  *smirk*

     So I asked a few other female friends for input…

     “Oh my God!  That was raw, but not harsh!  Damn, you really understand women!”
     “How can you know all of that?  There’s so much of me in there… That reflects a great understanding of women far beyond anything I’ve ever seen from a man!”
     “Exactly!  Why don’t other guys understand that?”
     “You are brilliant as ever!  You pegged us!”
     “No, you weren’t mean.  You were honest.  You really know women!  Thank you!”

     So, basically, I’m told that I understand women… that I know how they think… and understand why they do things… but hey, if that’s true, then why the Hell do I keep getting screwed over?

     Sorry, but if that shows “great understanding” on my part, then the Universe really is stacked against us… 😉

Off a bridge, that is.

Not to sound unsympathetic to the horrible disaster which unfolded Wednesday on I-35W in Minneapolis, but it’s our government who allowed it to happen.  Maybe once enough people plumet to their death in horrific accidents, somebody who is somebody might decide to put more money where it needs to be:  HERE IN THE U.S., not every-damn-where else.

Nationwide, there are more than 70,000 that could crumble like humpty dumpty and have a great fall.  A story posted on AOL today states that Tennessee’s bridges DO NOT make it into a list of bridges likely to go down anytime soon.  So, maybe its true.  Maybe it’s not. 

I decided that this whole situation scares the crap out of me.  So, I started looking into the bridges in Tennessee that are, according to our officials at DOT, structurally deficient.

These guys tell us that of all the bridges, both “on system” and “off system” that are in structurally deficient number more than 1,000.  More than 1,000!!!  Of course, the bridges are not listed here, but I’m sure it wouldn’t be too terribly hard to find out if any of these 1,000 are bridges we take for granted every single day.

I found this quote from a TDOT official from NewsChannel5 in Nashville…

TDOT said about four percent of the state’s 8,000 highway and state road bridges are what they call “structurally deficient,” which means they have some structural problems. TDOT said those problems do not compromise the safety of those bridges.

They can call it what they want.  I still think federal funds should be piped into each state for bridge and road upkeep, rather than all over the world.

Think about it…Henley Street?  Gay Street?  The big one on Pellissippi Pkwy?  I-40?  Edgemore to/from Oak Ridge?  Not to mention any number of smaller bridges. 

Good luck out there people.  Watch out for them hateful northern drivers from states that start with “I” and have falling bridges.

As my wonderful blog about LUST didn’t strike anybody’s fancy at all, I kind of went into blog hiding.  I mean, although I haven’t changed my view on my human nature, maybe I shouldn’t have been so darn candid about my personal life.

Regardless of that, it was how I felt at the moment and as with any other facet of life, I pressed “publish” before I really thought about offending anybody.  I apoligize to anybody who read it and thought, “That girl’s going straight to hell.”

     Today’s Asshat comes to us from a magical place where there there was never slavery, no judgmentalism, and is completely devoid of religious and political extremism.

     Yes, of course I’m joking.

     He’s from north-central South Carolina.

     I can only assume this is some ridiculous retort to a recent statement I made, “I’m a lot more than just the sum of my experiences…”  But I wonder why he didn’t leave it in the comments, in that context, instead of giving me such impressive ammunition for an Asshat of the Day post?

     Via the Contact form, this so-called Doctor of Psychology writes:

From: Dr. H.T.B., Psy.D
Date: July 31st 2007, 9:34AM

It is wrong to think that you are more than the sum of your experiences.

It is even worse to combine it under religion.
Your deep faith commits you to slavery of a false ideal.
You are subservient to other masters.
You have righteous indignation.
The worse you feel the more you believe.
Your free will disappears.
It is an arrogant philopshopy of exclusion that breeds hatred.

You are the sum of your experiences and nothing more.
Your are flirting with disaster to think otherwise.

     I’m impressed with your amazing powers of observation, dude!  You must have been wearing your tinfoil hat to have such keen insight into all of the secret messages in the post.  *snicker*
     If you got all of that from a blog post, you’re more f$&*ed up than a football bat.  

     Where did you come up with the idea that I had “deep faith?”  Where did you come up with the idea that people who spiritual or religious are a bunch of exclusionary, hateful bastards?
     While I can agree with this viewpoint in certain cases (i.e. followers of former Asshat Award recipient, Fred Phelps), it’s certainly no reason to condemn every one of them.

     Doc, you apparently think anyone who mentions a Maker is a religious zealot, who’s a slave to false ideals and just out there to screw with people.  People like you, perhaps?  Did you have a bad experience with someone who was deeply religious?

     Seriously, I think you might need to try some of the advice you’re so quick to dole out.  Maybe you should take one of those pills…
     You know…
     The ones with a small risk of sexual side effects, but they are rare?
     Of course, both taking the pill and noticing any sexual side effects would require removing your head from your ass… You’re flirting with disaster to think otherwise.

     It’s a little disturbing that someone who claims to be a Doctor of Psychology doesn’t remember the basic tenets of his practice.  Perhaps some remedial study is in order…
     We are all the sum of our experiences, but it’s the way that we deal with them that defines who we are.  We can succumb to bad experiences and reflect them into our every day lives and be unhappy, or learn from them and move on in order to better ourselves and become well-adjusted.
     Me, I’ll take the latter.