It has come to my attention by way of massive amounts of subversive hinting — and some hints that were blatant — that I should share some knowledge in this area.  Mind you, this advice is only aimed at a choice few to include 90 percent of the clueless dating population: men or boys as the case may be from the ages of 18-65; Women from the ages of 18-50; and anyone else who just can’t seem to get their luck up. However, for men, it shouldn’t take that long, there’s a lot of website like girlfriendactivationsystemreview.net which guide you step by step how to win woman’s heart. (On the off chance, you go to church on a regular basis; the previous statement should be “laid” instead of luck.)

Rule number 1:  Remember to reference the dating blogs. Pay special attention to Flirting 101, Flirting 102, and Flirting 103.  If you are like me, do a search for dating through that lovely search bar in the right corner of the screen.  The ones that reference dating in a more depressing light are there for a reason, too.  After all, “a step is a stumble forward, prevented from becoming a fall by taking another step” –Barton Green.

2.  Listen to your best friends.  Deep down, whether you choose to see it or not, they really do have your best interests at heart.

3.  Listen to your best friends.  They can also be a viable judge of character when your judgment clouds. Therefore, this point gets two spots instead of one.

4.  Pay yourself first; never jump in to a relationship where you cannot gain something.  However, with that said you should always be willing to give in order to receive.

5.  Cleanliness is next to Godliness.  Without roots there can be no foundation, if you are trying to sell yourself to someone else you must present your best self.

6.  Treat anyone and everyone with respect.  If you do not respect the person or persons you are trying to court, how can you expect them to treat you any different?

7.  Be patient.  If you are just like your horoscope tells you to be, good things happen to those who wait.

8.  Don’t be afraid to make the first move.  Other people do not know what you are thinking; they are not mind readers.  For the same reason, do not take it too far.  If you ask for dinner, pay for it and have dinner.  More can, and most likely will, come later. 😉

9.  Talk and speak your mind.  If you just get down to business, it is nothing but a one-night stand.  You have to figure out who the other person is and whether or not you are compatible (i.e.: can you live with one another in your lives?).

10.  Keep business and pleasure as simply that.  Then, if one or the other goes awry, you still have some sort of relationship you can salvage.

With this advice, you are now ready to embark back into the dating society of intellectual beings, no matter what their leanings may be in either the bedroom or the political arena.  As there will be further additions to this post, do not forget to keep posted.

God bless, good night, and good luck.

I make my rounds down  at Blogger’s Landing on a daily basis. 

Here you’ll find all kinds of people.  You find folks who rant and rave, folks who have public service announcements, folks reflecting on life… you name it you’ll find it.  

I recently saw something that has been bugging the piss out of me.  I’m not going to make a daily stop at a particular page anymore because it is a major buzz kill to my joy and happiness factor.  And God knows, I don’t need anybody kicking me out of joy and happiness.  I won’t name any names, that wouldn’t be right.

This is just a public service announcement so that folks will realize that a blog that is used as a platform for a non-stop personal vendetta is extremely boring.

I’m not the victim of the below bunch of bullshit.  I’m not even sure I know who the victim of this blogger is, but I know for a long, long time this has been going on and frankly I’m bored as a monkey with no fucking trees to swing from with it all.  I don’t think I’ll be passing by her blog for tea and crumpets again because her style of writing makes me sad.

It’s a mean nasty person who is constantly stirring up crap with an people by constantly picking old wounds to keep them open.

I totally understand the occassional happening with an ex and it being something interesting or even just something a sister needs to vent about. Or a past ghost comes up and bites a brother in the ass…. makes for interesting reading and is perfectly acceptable. 

But, when someone makes it part of their daily routine to check up on and often write crap about someone, it’s sad.  These kind of people need to get a life.  A real life, not fantasy world. 

Whether whatever happened was right or wrong on either side, enough is enough.  The slamming of another person and constant degradation is boring to say the least.  I don’t think the person I’m referring to bothers to check my shit out, but if they do, I hope they are not infatuated enough with themselves not to realize this is a wake up call.  Knock it off. 

Get a fucking life, or not.  I don’t care either way. I’m a big girl and I can just stay away from your blogs.

I’m working on finding my sarcasm again after losing it somewhere between the altar and Germany.  In hindsight, I don’t actually think I ever lost it.  I think somehow it got kicked in the corner, or under my dresser with the dust-bunnies when I started having girl problems.  Nothing like some girl issues to jack one’s system completely up.  None-the-less, I started to feel my sassy self coming back to life.

Yah.  I’m back home and totally enjoying the comforts of my OG and my happy little office.  It’s always nice to get to travel far and wide, but even nicer to come home… especially since I had only been married a scant week when I had to leave on that jetplane.  But that’s another story all together ain’t it?

So, OG and I have been known to have some pretty interesting conversations in the last 7 years that we have worked together.  No holds barred.  Really.  We talk about anything and everything.  Which brings me to what we are talking about here.

At lunch, we generally find some kind of magazine full of gossip or short, yet hilarious ditties.  The conversation turned interesting when I found a short article about an ape who doesn’t dig girl apes….  Read this… you’ll love it.

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) – Sibu the Orangutan has miffed his Dutch keepers by refusing to mate with females and showing sexual interest only in tattooed human blondes.

Apenheul Primate Park hoped Sibu would become its breeding male when he arrived two years ago, but orangutans aren’t his type.

“He chases them, or ignores them, but he doesn’t do what he should do,” said a spokeswoman for the park.

Instead, Sibu fancies his female keepers, especially blondes. That, the spokeswoman said, was common for orangutans but Sibu has a fetish for tattoos, harking back to a heavily tattooed keeper who reared him.

“Orangutans have special interests in special subjects. Sibu happens to like tattoos,” she said.

So, this brought up the question of whether orangutans have a penis bone like most other mammals or if their penis gets hard like a human penis does.  Yah, I know what you must be thinking…  perfectly acceptable, lady-like lunchtime conversation.  So, we finished up our lunch and google’d it, as we google every sick and twisted thing we can think of.  And we found out that an orangutan does, in fact, have a penis bone.

OG has decided that I, being the blonde and tattoo’d chippie that I am, should stay the hell out of Amsterdam.

Just thought I’d share that tid-bit with you kids.  Cheers!

(Article Copyright 2007 Reuters)

So, today marks the day of an ever so joyous event.  Diva’s bachelorette party!!!  Yay!

Well, our beloved Mark is sitting back, and sniveling, because he has a penis, not a vagina.

No penises at Diva’s bachelorette party.  Only people who are proud owners of a vagina are allowed as we will be greatly misbehaved and no males are allowed to be there to witness such naughty things as will be going on tonight. You´ll have your time to have fun, whatever that means for guys. What do they do on a Bachelor party?

In addition to lotsa drinkin, games on tap include:

Pin the bow-tie on the bachelor, Do or dare cards (which promises to be loads of fun since Robyn will do almost anything if dared), and a naughty scavenger hunt.

Details and photographic evidence to follow.