I was culturally sensitive enough not to post this yesterday, given that it was Chinese New Year.

Even Snoop Puppy-Dogg isn’t safe in this recession.

Source: Yep, it’s really Craigslist.

So I came up with this ridiculous story about how I kicked the dog and how it was pissing everywhere and barking and what an asshole I am.  The kicker was that I don’t have a dog and that I was at my neighbors house.  Well, after getting through the second sentence I came to realize that only an asshole would find that kind of shit funny.  So what does that make me?  Not this asshole – that’s for sure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_KBs3znjWs

This guy is surely one of the World’s Biggest Asshats…

     During the course of a conversation, a customer complained of a capricious canine.  The malcontented mutt, so known as Buddy, was the property of a pestiferous old prune next door.  He’d decided it was his duty to guard their front door and growl aggressively every time they tried to go into their own garage.

     When I arrived at the premises, I was immediately pounced upon by the pesky pooch, which resulted in my kicking the bastard under the jaw.  He didn’t seem to like it very much, but buggered off, regardless.

     Their own two dogs had been terrorized by the territorial tail-wagger, a detail that became clear today.  The pups watched intently as I banished the bitchy ol’ bastard with a few blasts from a BB Gun.  They immediately began a gleeful, circle-running trip — yes, they were overjoyed!

     Maybe you had to be there … But it’s funny to me that the neighbor’s annoying dog can understand the meaning of, “Fuck off!”  He didn’t ask questions, didn’t make promises, didn’t try and defend himself.  He just fucked off. 😉

Note: Thanks, Sam, for reminding me to alliterate more…

     Neo-Nazi Skinheads Paul Schlesselman and Daniel Cowert were stupid enough to screw up a perfectly good suicide attempt, but our American Mainstream Media fell for it lock, stock and non-smoking barrel.
     [ Yes, the pun was intended, and kudos if you caught it… ]

     Ya know that gun store those two geniuses were about to rob so they could get the guns to carry out their plan to “die trying” to kill Obama, but instead knew all along they they were actually going to go out in a blaze of glory while wearing white tuxedos and tophats — because they watched Alice in Wonderland using Pink Floyd: The Wall as a soundtrack one too many times when they were stoned?  Or something like that?

     Yeah, well, it didn’t get robbed… because…

     There were dogs…

     Can anyone else follow the logic — and take it seriously — where they’re planning a grandiose death as martyrs, but they’re afraid to rob the gun store containing the provisions they need because omfg there are dogs?!?!

     Pure genius.

     So you have to wonder about the intelligence of the Obama Camp and the MSM…

     Come the hell on!

     MSM, get off your lazy butts and investigate!

     Enquiring minds wanna know…

     What kinda dogs were they?!

     They must have been German Shepherds… *cough!*